Thursday, February 26, 2009

Doctor's Appointment Today!

I have my first doctor's appointment for the pending baby today at 3pm. I'm so excited and nervous for it. Andrew's getting off work early to meet me there; we're hoping that everything we hear is positive (nothing scary!).

My appetite has been next to nothing this week. I keep forcing myself to eat because I know I need to, but that's about it. Food will sound good, but as soon as I sit down to eat anything, I don't want it anymore. I've lost 2 pounds this week, and I know that's bad news. My doctor will probably tell me I shouldn't lose any weight while pregnant... I'll have to try to finish my meals.

Right now I'm trying to at least eat a grapefruit. It tastes good, but I don't seem to want anymore :( I've only eaten half of one. Is this complete loss of appetite normal?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Feeling like Crap

Oh, man. So, in addition to the whole pregnancy thing, I've caught the world's worst cold from Andrew. My ears are plugged, my eyes are watery, and I have a deep, hacking cough that hurts my back. My head hurts non stop, and I feel positively miserable.

Last night, I kept waking up every couple of hours to blow my nose and get a drink of water. My throat is so dry and scratchy.

Every time I rolled over, I felt my tummy take extra time to settle. I think that's so weird. Should I be feeling that so early on? I feel like I have a big ball of gas in me that I feel every time I lay down.

Today, I call the doctor to see if I can come in on Thursday for an appointment. I'm pretty nervous for this. Andrew's mom told me that they typically have you do an US to find out how far along you are, and then they do testing for abnormalities before 15 weeks. I'm terrified just thinking about abnormalities.

Urg, I don't see how people do this all the time.

I can't wait until I feel better...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

We're Adding a Limb to Our Family Tree...

So sang Ricky Ricardo in an episode of "I Love Lucy." Man, I loved that show as a kid.

Andrew and I never planned on having kids. We were content with the idea of being the world's greatest aunt and uncle. Sometimes, life doesn't turn out as you plan.

Over the last couple of weeks at work, I noticed I was getting hungrier than usual. I didn't want to over eat, so I purchased healthy options like string cheese, yogurt and fruit to eat. Then, I started to feel more tired than normal. At work, I kept thinking how I wanted to go home and sleep. Then, on Wednesday, my good friend Aminta and I went to do our usual work out. My stomach felt full, like I had indigestion or something, and I finally told Aminta I'd have to go home early.

On Friday, I felt the same full feeling. Andrew and I went out shopping for some Mucinex, and everything we passed looked delicious. Hot cocoa! Canned corn! Yum, yum. He teased me that I just wanted everything at the end of the aisles: "Do you need a cell phone charger, too?"

Friday evening, I was craddling my bloated stomach trying to think what I'd eaten that might have caused the indigestion. That's about the time it occured to me that I was late... like 10 days late. How had I not thought of it before? I tried to tell Andrew, but couldn't think how. When I finally worked up the courage and let him know I was late. He stayed calm and practical and offered to go out to buy a test. I was nervous and wasn't sure if I even wanted to know. He assured me that knowing is better than not knowing, and that's basically how I ended up peeing on a test stick at 10pm.

Truly, I didn't expect a positive result. I'm not sure why. I thought Andrew read it wrong when he told me it was positive. It was very overwhelming. I don't know how to be a parent! How's it going to come out of me? What about the house we wanted to buy? And could we even afford rent, much less a mortgage with a kid? I cried over the confusion, and Andrew hugged me. He told me that life doesn't turn out like we plan, and that's a good thing.

The next day, yesterday, I started to feel much better. It was nerve-wracking telling my parents. Everyone knew we didn't want kids; what would they all think when they found out we were expecting? But they were happy for us; my dad started talking about taking our kid to ball games. My mom joked that I'm so small; she said I'll end up looking like a basketball. Really, they were excited for us. I think that was the turning point for me, too, where I started to see having a kid as a positive thing. On the way home, Andrew and I talked about baby names. I won't tell you the ones we did like, but I'll tell you the ones we didn't. Andrew hated my pick Wyatt; I hated his choice of Harlen. He decided that we both get unlimited name vetos, since it's important we both like our child's name.

This morning, we went over to his parents' house to tell them the big news. Andrew told them in their kitchen, and they both started crying. His dad, Paul, told me I'd be a great mom. Colleen even bought me prenatal vitamins (the picture on the front with the very pregnant woman reminded me again of the fact that this baby is going to have to come out somehow).

There's a lot we don't know. I don't know how to hold a baby, much less figure out how to breast feed it. I don't know how to change a baby or, frankly, how to raise it. I know nothing of the birthing process, and the whole needle thing to the abdomin is a little too much for me at this point. Andrew asked me about birthing classes. I guess I'd go if it's recommended, but do we have to watch videos? I definitely don't want to watch a video. It'll only succeed in freaking me out more.

All I'm saying is I have 9 months (maybe 8? Possibly 7?) to figure all this stuff out. I have no idea where to start...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Gotta Love the Scrubs!

So, as it turns out, people actually read this thing. That's motivation enough for me to log in on a more frequent basis and ponder the chaos of my little life.

I'm sitting here in my scrubs, and I feel so cozy. Scrubs are just like PJs, only you can wear them outside and to the grocery store without the weird looks from strangers. I love them. I really, really love them.

The job's not bad, either. I have a boss who mostly likes to talk with us about her life and share funny stories. The girls I work with are so friendly to me, and very patient, considering the fact that I have -zero- medical experience. The nurses are my favorite. From a few rooms away, I can still hear them, exasperated, trying to help people with their various problems. There's at least one patient that makes me laugh uncontrollably every day. Is that bad?

And, of course, I get to work with Colleen, my mother-in-law, and her best buddy, Jean. I like working with Colleen. In addition to having a ride most mornings, she helps teach me about different GI diagnoses and treatments. This way, I slowly (slowly) feel more confident answering the phones.

It's weird working Monday through Friday, 8:30-5pm. I mean, I like it very much, and I like the regularity. But it's weird. Every day, I come home, and Andrew's there. I find myself cleaning less because he's around, and we can be doing things like.... cooking together, playing Rock Band, whatever. So I need to be more productive with my time. Also, I need to get better at finding more personal time. And time to work out. You can see that this becomes difficult to resolve.

I think I want to request a random day off, once I have vacation. Just time to clean and then do nothing by myself. Unfortunately, I was also called for jury duty on the first Monday of March. My dad told me they choose the grand jury on the first Monday of the month. Not that I'd mind jury duty; I just mind having to not show up to work at a new job and having to drive downtown. Still, the possibility of not working for a couple weeks puts a kink in the random vacation day idea.

Ah well.