Thursday, February 26, 2009

Doctor's Appointment Today!

I have my first doctor's appointment for the pending baby today at 3pm. I'm so excited and nervous for it. Andrew's getting off work early to meet me there; we're hoping that everything we hear is positive (nothing scary!).

My appetite has been next to nothing this week. I keep forcing myself to eat because I know I need to, but that's about it. Food will sound good, but as soon as I sit down to eat anything, I don't want it anymore. I've lost 2 pounds this week, and I know that's bad news. My doctor will probably tell me I shouldn't lose any weight while pregnant... I'll have to try to finish my meals.

Right now I'm trying to at least eat a grapefruit. It tastes good, but I don't seem to want anymore :( I've only eaten half of one. Is this complete loss of appetite normal?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Feeling like Crap

Oh, man. So, in addition to the whole pregnancy thing, I've caught the world's worst cold from Andrew. My ears are plugged, my eyes are watery, and I have a deep, hacking cough that hurts my back. My head hurts non stop, and I feel positively miserable.

Last night, I kept waking up every couple of hours to blow my nose and get a drink of water. My throat is so dry and scratchy.

Every time I rolled over, I felt my tummy take extra time to settle. I think that's so weird. Should I be feeling that so early on? I feel like I have a big ball of gas in me that I feel every time I lay down.

Today, I call the doctor to see if I can come in on Thursday for an appointment. I'm pretty nervous for this. Andrew's mom told me that they typically have you do an US to find out how far along you are, and then they do testing for abnormalities before 15 weeks. I'm terrified just thinking about abnormalities.

Urg, I don't see how people do this all the time.

I can't wait until I feel better...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

We're Adding a Limb to Our Family Tree...

So sang Ricky Ricardo in an episode of "I Love Lucy." Man, I loved that show as a kid.

Andrew and I never planned on having kids. We were content with the idea of being the world's greatest aunt and uncle. Sometimes, life doesn't turn out as you plan.

Over the last couple of weeks at work, I noticed I was getting hungrier than usual. I didn't want to over eat, so I purchased healthy options like string cheese, yogurt and fruit to eat. Then, I started to feel more tired than normal. At work, I kept thinking how I wanted to go home and sleep. Then, on Wednesday, my good friend Aminta and I went to do our usual work out. My stomach felt full, like I had indigestion or something, and I finally told Aminta I'd have to go home early.

On Friday, I felt the same full feeling. Andrew and I went out shopping for some Mucinex, and everything we passed looked delicious. Hot cocoa! Canned corn! Yum, yum. He teased me that I just wanted everything at the end of the aisles: "Do you need a cell phone charger, too?"

Friday evening, I was craddling my bloated stomach trying to think what I'd eaten that might have caused the indigestion. That's about the time it occured to me that I was late... like 10 days late. How had I not thought of it before? I tried to tell Andrew, but couldn't think how. When I finally worked up the courage and let him know I was late. He stayed calm and practical and offered to go out to buy a test. I was nervous and wasn't sure if I even wanted to know. He assured me that knowing is better than not knowing, and that's basically how I ended up peeing on a test stick at 10pm.


Truly, I didn't expect a positive result. I'm not sure why. I thought Andrew read it wrong when he told me it was positive. It was very overwhelming. I don't know how to be a parent! How's it going to come out of me? What about the house we wanted to buy? And could we even afford rent, much less a mortgage with a kid? I cried over the confusion, and Andrew hugged me. He told me that life doesn't turn out like we plan, and that's a good thing.

The next day, yesterday, I started to feel much better. It was nerve-wracking telling my parents. Everyone knew we didn't want kids; what would they all think when they found out we were expecting? But they were happy for us; my dad started talking about taking our kid to ball games. My mom joked that I'm so small; she said I'll end up looking like a basketball. Really, they were excited for us. I think that was the turning point for me, too, where I started to see having a kid as a positive thing. On the way home, Andrew and I talked about baby names. I won't tell you the ones we did like, but I'll tell you the ones we didn't. Andrew hated my pick Wyatt; I hated his choice of Harlen. He decided that we both get unlimited name vetos, since it's important we both like our child's name.


This morning, we went over to his parents' house to tell them the big news. Andrew told them in their kitchen, and they both started crying. His dad, Paul, told me I'd be a great mom. Colleen even bought me prenatal vitamins (the picture on the front with the very pregnant woman reminded me again of the fact that this baby is going to have to come out somehow).

There's a lot we don't know. I don't know how to hold a baby, much less figure out how to breast feed it. I don't know how to change a baby or, frankly, how to raise it. I know nothing of the birthing process, and the whole needle thing to the abdomin is a little too much for me at this point. Andrew asked me about birthing classes. I guess I'd go if it's recommended, but do we have to watch videos? I definitely don't want to watch a video. It'll only succeed in freaking me out more.

All I'm saying is I have 9 months (maybe 8? Possibly 7?) to figure all this stuff out. I have no idea where to start...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Gotta Love the Scrubs!

So, as it turns out, people actually read this thing. That's motivation enough for me to log in on a more frequent basis and ponder the chaos of my little life.

I'm sitting here in my scrubs, and I feel so cozy. Scrubs are just like PJs, only you can wear them outside and to the grocery store without the weird looks from strangers. I love them. I really, really love them.


The job's not bad, either. I have a boss who mostly likes to talk with us about her life and share funny stories. The girls I work with are so friendly to me, and very patient, considering the fact that I have -zero- medical experience. The nurses are my favorite. From a few rooms away, I can still hear them, exasperated, trying to help people with their various problems. There's at least one patient that makes me laugh uncontrollably every day. Is that bad?

And, of course, I get to work with Colleen, my mother-in-law, and her best buddy, Jean. I like working with Colleen. In addition to having a ride most mornings, she helps teach me about different GI diagnoses and treatments. This way, I slowly (slowly) feel more confident answering the phones.

It's weird working Monday through Friday, 8:30-5pm. I mean, I like it very much, and I like the regularity. But it's weird. Every day, I come home, and Andrew's there. I find myself cleaning less because he's around, and we can be doing things like.... cooking together, playing Rock Band, whatever. So I need to be more productive with my time. Also, I need to get better at finding more personal time. And time to work out. You can see that this becomes difficult to resolve.

I think I want to request a random day off, once I have vacation. Just time to clean and then do nothing by myself. Unfortunately, I was also called for jury duty on the first Monday of March. My dad told me they choose the grand jury on the first Monday of the month. Not that I'd mind jury duty; I just mind having to not show up to work at a new job and having to drive downtown. Still, the possibility of not working for a couple weeks puts a kink in the random vacation day idea.

Ah well.

Friday, December 19, 2008

More Change!

Ah, so much change in my life!

I started to really struggle to get myself into work these last few months. My job long stopped being fun and started getting stressful. Then, Starbucks started cutting jobs. Before it was my turn, I began a job search and polished my resume.

Before too long, Andrew's mom found me a job with Rocky Mountain Gastroenterology. I'm so excited! I got the official word last week. I put my notice into work on Saturday, and my boss explained to me that managers with access codes to people's personal information and money are paid out their two weeks. So, I am currently being paid to not work! Hurray!

The new job starts Monday, January 5, so in the meantime, I've been getting into the holiday spirit by making cookies, buying everyone's Christmas gifts. Also, it's helped clear out my calendar to make sure I can runnnn to prepare for the half marathon!


In other, more somber news, yesterday was the day that Grandma Jo passed last year. My mom took the day off work and went to the hair dresser, then I went with her out to Target. I love remembering Grandma and thinking about her laugh, but yesterday was definitely tough. It reminded me too much of her death.


I love family, and I love that we get to spend more time with family around this time of year. And, yes, it makes it easier to do so w/no job to go to! This weekend, Uncle Matt is coming into town with Beth and Ben, so hopefully I'll get to see them. Then, on Christmas Eve, Julie and Andy are both coming into town. I'm so happy!


A few days ago, I sent out my Christmas cards. It was neat to see how many states they were all going out to! Let's see; I sent cards to Washington state, Washington, D.C., Oregon, California, Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Texas, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Massachussetts, Maine, Minnesota, Missouri, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Florida. So many people in so many places! I hope they all have a great Christmas.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Call Me Back; I Have Good News

So went the message left on my answering machine my Dr. Marie, Bailey's oncologist.

I called her back and learned that most of Bailey's tumors were benign, and so was the 1 lymph node that she worried about. Because they removed everything, she said that this surgery most likely "cured" her.

I'm so happy! So excited! And so's Bailey (as she chews on her new snowman chewtoy).

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Christmas Trees and Ice Cream Cake


Although today is my birthday, I celebrated it yesterday with my family while my brother and his fiance were in town.


Andrew and I set up the Christmas tree (it was my birthday present from him last year), and he put the lights out on the balcony. I love our tree. We both have our "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments. I have my "Puppy Love" ornaments that I've collected throughout the years, and he has ornaments from preschool and high school. We also have the Peanuts ornaments we painted together last year, as well as engagement ornaments and "Our First Christmas" ornaments. The tree definitely has "us" hung all over it.

Finally, I topped the tree with my Grandma's Christmas point.

Andrew ran out to Cold Stone to pick out an ice cream cake for me, and my dad arrived at 5 with pizza and pop. Soon, my mom, Andy and Erin came, and we had fun talking and eating for a few hours. I had a few gifts to open, and I received a cookie and brownie recipe book, a new beater attachment for my Kitchenaid that scrapes the sides of the bowl, the movie "Polar Express," and some new running pants. Good stuff!

I definitely had a great birthday celebration. Today, Andrew and I are going to kick back and relax and play some games for day 2 of my birthday festivities.


Update on Bailey: Bailey's doing well! She almost slept through the night and is even napping now. Her incision still appears to be healing nicely, and she's starting to walk and act like her normal self. She's still on pain medication, though, and still isn't allowed to jump up or down or use stairs.


Friday, November 28, 2008

I'm Sorry They Took You Away


Handing Bailey over to the vet was the hardest thing, ever. She was upset and scared, but I knew it was for her own good. Still, so hard.

I heard updates throughout Wednesday night and Thursday morning. Everyone told me she was doing so well but was definitely suffering from separation anxiety. Her oncologist, Dr. Marie, ran with me for half a mile of the Turkey Trot and told me she went to check on Bailey Wednesday evening, and Bailey leaped into her arms as soon as she opened her cage.

I thought about her all the time, and I couldn't wait to pick her up. When the moment finally came, I could hear her jingle bells ringing as she got closer to my waiting room. She really did look great. Drowsy, doped up, and scared, but otherwise really great.


Every hour, she shows improvement. At first, she did nothing but whimper (don't worry, she's on lots of pain medication!). After a few hours, she was willing and able to lay down. Finally, she was able to sleep and get some rest. Last night, she started eating a bit, and by this morning, her hunger had returned and she was able to eat. Later this morning, she started drinking and pooped, and now she's even showing interest in her toys.

It's definitely going to be a slow recovery. On Monday, she gets some staples removed. Next weekend, they'll remove her stitches.


I'm attaching a picture of her from about an hour ago. It was the first time she laid on her back, so I seized the opportunity to take a picture of her incision.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Longest Days

I've spent the last few days at the animal hospital again. Sunday, I came home to a dog whimpering. She couldn't lay down or go down the stairs. I couldn't take her into the vet since it was the weekend, but I also knew I couldn't wait until the next day to take her in. So we went to the animal hospital.

It took a while for them to see us. There were a few major cases, including one zealous puppy who swallowed a stick his owner threw for him and got it stuck in his throat (we found out later he was going to be just fine, although he'd need a lot of pain medication!). When it was Bailey's turn, I told the vet about the arthritis in her paws and the history of mammory tumors. She played with Bailey's joints and her neck and back. None bothered Bailey, but when the vet touched her stomach, she freaked out. They had to muzzle her! It looked like the cancer was back.

They doped up Bailey with pain meds and gave me some to take home until she could see the oncologist today (Tuesday). I had to beg and plead with a man at work to cover my shift so I could get in for the appointment, and my mom was able to take half of a day off of work to go with me.

After hours of testing and waiting for results, we heard some semi-good news. Yes, her tumors were back, and yes, they were causing her pain, but they hadn't metastisized and could be removed with surgery. All her other organs were in excellent condition and she's in otherwise great health, leading them to determine that surgery was a really good option for her.

So Bailey goes back to the hospital first thing tomorrow. They're going to remove all her lower breast tissue and do a lumpectomy for the two smaller lumps up higher. It's going to be a pretty major surgery, and she's going to have a long recovery, but they think she will completely recover from this.

I feel so much better than I did yesterday and Sunday night. I'm scared for tomorrow, but I feel so grateful that the rest of her body is healthy and that I have the rest of the week off to care for her (what an amazing coincidence! Sometimes, those things just work out). So much to be grateful for! Happy thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

She Didn't Poop

Throughout our first year at the apartment complex, Andrew and I were frequently grossed out by the doggy poop surprises left around the courtyard. Winter made it easy (at least we could see it and not step in it!), but it was still gross.

Andrew and I always clean up after Bailey. Always. Well, there was the one time she had diarrhea, and it couldn't be done. So I suppose I should say always minus one.

One day, about two months ago or so, I was out in the courtyard, and Bailey squatted to pee. She's old and a bit arthritic, so her back is a little hunched, and it takes her longer than all the younger dogs. As she got up, and we headed inside, I thought I heard a woman yell, "Clean up after it!" But I couldn't see anyone, and thought it might have been something else.

Well, yesterday, we were out in the courtyard again, and again, Bailey peed. We moved on to another grassy area, when a woman stepped out onto her balcony and yelled to me, "Aren't you going to clean it up?"

I looked up at her, perplexed, and said, "Uh, she peed."

"It looked like she pooped."

I held up the green poop bag I was carrying in my hand and said, "No, sorry, she's old and arthritic. That's how she pees. Don't worry, I have a poop bag."

The woman looked at me, said, "Well, I thought she'd pooped," and turned and went inside.

On the one hand, I admire her for having the courage to confront someone who doesn't clean up after a pet. On the other hand, I thought she could have been nicer to me after I cleared up the issue and maybe (perhaps) even apologized.