We're expecting our new home to be ready July 8, and our lease is up here July 14. Today, I decided to start some packing. It's weird to think we might be moving all this stuff out in less than two weeks.
I'm really excited about our new home and having a permanent place with Andrew. Still, it's bittersweet. This is the first place I've had as an adult, and the first place Andrew and I have had as a couple. Two years went by really fast, and I'm going to miss it.
I hope I like the next place at least as much. There won't be a big pond in the backyard and no ducks, but we will have forest and (hopefully!) deer. Our second bedroom is going to be a nursey instead of a computer room, and I wonder know where our bookshelf and books will go. In the attic? Weird.
It's amazing to me how much life has continued to change for us over the last few years. We went from planning a wedding and getting married to moving into our first apartment to losing a lot of people who were dear to us. We moved on to new jobs, started looking for a home to own, and now we're expecting a baby boy. This, all in the matter of a couple of years. While it's a little sad to move on, I'm looking forward to some consistancy... to being able to enjoy our current stage of life and hopefully not have to deal with too much at once.
It's going to feel so satisfying to move this stuff over to our new place and know that some of the big changes are coming to an end. We can focus then on one, big change... having a family.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Swelling in my fingers and toes (Oh my!).
On Wednesday, my feet started to swell a bit. I came home, elevated them, and Andrew rubbed them a bit. They stayed swollen, but it wasn't an issue.
Today, I was trying to fix dinner. I couldn't get a grip on any of the pans because my fingers were swollen. Zero dexterity.
Fast-forward a few hours later, and my ring finger is starting to ache. Only I can't get my wedding band off. It took a few minutes of holding my hand up over my head and a lot of saliva, but my ring finally slipped free. Now, I feel exposed and a little sad with no wedding band.
I had to relinquish the engagement ring months ago. The wedding band, once too large for my hand, fit well until today. I'm currently wishing I'd thought to buy a backup before this happened.
I went on Kohls.com and bought a nice sterling silver ring in a size 6 for $9.99. Not a bad deal, and I'll have it to wear for four more months. Still, I don't even feel like going a week without a wedding band. I'm hoping tomorrow my swelling will be down enough to put the ring back on. For now, it's residing on my pinky.
Today, I was trying to fix dinner. I couldn't get a grip on any of the pans because my fingers were swollen. Zero dexterity.
Fast-forward a few hours later, and my ring finger is starting to ache. Only I can't get my wedding band off. It took a few minutes of holding my hand up over my head and a lot of saliva, but my ring finally slipped free. Now, I feel exposed and a little sad with no wedding band.
I had to relinquish the engagement ring months ago. The wedding band, once too large for my hand, fit well until today. I'm currently wishing I'd thought to buy a backup before this happened.
I went on Kohls.com and bought a nice sterling silver ring in a size 6 for $9.99. Not a bad deal, and I'll have it to wear for four more months. Still, I don't even feel like going a week without a wedding band. I'm hoping tomorrow my swelling will be down enough to put the ring back on. For now, it's residing on my pinky.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
First Kicks
On Monday, Andrew picked me up to go look at some townhomes. As we were driving, I felt a little thump in my lower abdomen. I thought it was unusual, and then about five minutes later, it happened again. I couldn't be sure, but I thought it was probably our baby kicking!
That night, I was laying down and reading, and I started to feel it again. And then yesterday (Tuesday), I felt some thumps at lunch. It's so exciting! And weird, to know there's a person inside of you, kicking you. I'm getting excited to meet our little guy, but I'm also excited for the rest of the pregnancy, when Andrew can start feeling those little thumps, too!
That night, I was laying down and reading, and I started to feel it again. And then yesterday (Tuesday), I felt some thumps at lunch. It's so exciting! And weird, to know there's a person inside of you, kicking you. I'm getting excited to meet our little guy, but I'm also excited for the rest of the pregnancy, when Andrew can start feeling those little thumps, too!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It's a Boy!
It's a boy! Boy, oh boy! Andrew and I went to the OB, where we met our parents (Andrew's dad had to go out of town for work unfortunately). Dr. Oster was called away to deliver a baby, so we waited (and waited). I didn't mind so much, but I wasn't supposed to pee before the ultrasound. Wooie.
We got into the ultrasound room, and she started looking for the baby. She first thing she found was his butt. Its butt was definitely more like Andrew's. Then she went down the legs and commented, "Those are really long legs." Haha, that's not exactly from my gene pool.
I was pretty sure I saw some boy parts when she went down the legs. She asked me if I had any idea what I was having. I said, "I was pretty sure it was a girl until you started the ultrasound. Now I think I saw a ball sack." She told me I was right and took some photos of the baby's boy parts for proof.
She then scanned over the baby and showed us his heart (all 4 chambers, sweet), and looked at his brain and spine. She checked out the umbilical cord and said everything looks perfect. Also, she said our baby has a stomach and has learned to swallow. Hurray! I'm glad all my tiredness has paid off so far into creating a beautiful baby boy.
From the waist down, the baby certainly takes after Andrew. It has his legs and butt, and I told him, "He sure didn't get a penis from me." It'll be fun to see our little boy in person after he's born to check out all of his other traits.
I'm so happy. So's Andrew, and so are our families. We started calling people almost right away. Andrew called his dad, and Colleen called Grandma Jackie. After Andrew and I got to talk a bit in the car, I called my brother and sister, and he called his brother.
Most people were just as sure as I was that we were having a girl. The only two who seemed confident that it was a boy? Julie and Colleen's good buddy, Jean.
Now it's time to work on names :)
We got into the ultrasound room, and she started looking for the baby. She first thing she found was his butt. Its butt was definitely more like Andrew's. Then she went down the legs and commented, "Those are really long legs." Haha, that's not exactly from my gene pool.
I was pretty sure I saw some boy parts when she went down the legs. She asked me if I had any idea what I was having. I said, "I was pretty sure it was a girl until you started the ultrasound. Now I think I saw a ball sack." She told me I was right and took some photos of the baby's boy parts for proof.
She then scanned over the baby and showed us his heart (all 4 chambers, sweet), and looked at his brain and spine. She checked out the umbilical cord and said everything looks perfect. Also, she said our baby has a stomach and has learned to swallow. Hurray! I'm glad all my tiredness has paid off so far into creating a beautiful baby boy.
From the waist down, the baby certainly takes after Andrew. It has his legs and butt, and I told him, "He sure didn't get a penis from me." It'll be fun to see our little boy in person after he's born to check out all of his other traits.
I'm so happy. So's Andrew, and so are our families. We started calling people almost right away. Andrew called his dad, and Colleen called Grandma Jackie. After Andrew and I got to talk a bit in the car, I called my brother and sister, and he called his brother.
Most people were just as sure as I was that we were having a girl. The only two who seemed confident that it was a boy? Julie and Colleen's good buddy, Jean.
Now it's time to work on names :)
Today is Here!
We've been counting down the weeks and finally the days, but today is here! My ultrasound is scheduled for 4:15pm, and we're going to find out if we're expecting a little boy or a little girl. I'm so excited!
These last few weeks have been weeks of change. My body is getting quite large. I've gained 13 pounds so far, but it's all tummy. It's getting harder to sleep, and my hips are frequently sore. I still have no nausea or constipation, thankfully. But also, I don't feel the baby move. I'm pretty disappointed at that. All my books inform me that people typically feel their babies move at 16-20 weeks. Saturday, I'll hit 21 weeks and still nothing.
Andrew's been reading my What to Expect. I saw him reading the delivery chapters yesterday, and I wonder if he's as nervous as me. I find myself singing a lot to Baby, hoping it'll get to know my voice. Andrew introduced himself to Baby the other day, and when he referred to himself as "Daddy," I almost teared up.
But, yes, today's the day. My parents and Andrew's mom are coming with us to the doctor. Paul, unfortunately, was called out of town for work, so he won't be able to make it.
Me, I still think our baby's a girl, but if they tell me it's a boy, I'll be happy and surprised. They'll also look at all its organs again. I get nervous whenever they look for abnormalities. So, yeah, I'm nervous for the appointment, but also insanely excited.
Andrew's making me a breakfast burrito this morning. I do my best to eat eggs and cheese and such. Frankly, fruits sound better and better every day, and everything else pales in comparison. I even dreamed about fruit yesterday... yum.
These last few weeks have been weeks of change. My body is getting quite large. I've gained 13 pounds so far, but it's all tummy. It's getting harder to sleep, and my hips are frequently sore. I still have no nausea or constipation, thankfully. But also, I don't feel the baby move. I'm pretty disappointed at that. All my books inform me that people typically feel their babies move at 16-20 weeks. Saturday, I'll hit 21 weeks and still nothing.
Andrew's been reading my What to Expect. I saw him reading the delivery chapters yesterday, and I wonder if he's as nervous as me. I find myself singing a lot to Baby, hoping it'll get to know my voice. Andrew introduced himself to Baby the other day, and when he referred to himself as "Daddy," I almost teared up.
But, yes, today's the day. My parents and Andrew's mom are coming with us to the doctor. Paul, unfortunately, was called out of town for work, so he won't be able to make it.
Me, I still think our baby's a girl, but if they tell me it's a boy, I'll be happy and surprised. They'll also look at all its organs again. I get nervous whenever they look for abnormalities. So, yeah, I'm nervous for the appointment, but also insanely excited.
Andrew's making me a breakfast burrito this morning. I do my best to eat eggs and cheese and such. Frankly, fruits sound better and better every day, and everything else pales in comparison. I even dreamed about fruit yesterday... yum.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Houses and Town Homes
Andrew and I have been on a mission with our house-hunting these last few months. We started looking before we were expecting and even put a bid in on a home. After re-crunching our numbers figuring in the cost of our upcoming baby, we made the tough decision to pull our bid on the house.
Now, we're looking for more affordable places to live in town homes and such. The problem is, all the nice ones always seem to have offers on them already!
Finding a home seems impossible, and now we have 60 days to move out of our apartment! Actually, the apartment people did say we can do month-to-month after our lease is up, but that'll cost an extra $100 a month. Bogus!
Now, we're looking for more affordable places to live in town homes and such. The problem is, all the nice ones always seem to have offers on them already!
Finding a home seems impossible, and now we have 60 days to move out of our apartment! Actually, the apartment people did say we can do month-to-month after our lease is up, but that'll cost an extra $100 a month. Bogus!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
So Much Emotion!
Well, those pregnancy hormones seem to be kicking in full force! I'm used to feeling happy and content and, well, frankly, used to even laughing at those who get all riled up over nothing. Now, it seems, I am those people!
I'll tell you what, I've been getting very angry these last few weeks. Either I get mad at nothing, or I get really mad over something quite small. And the anger seems to last, too. I've never really been an angry person. Well, maybe during my years of teenage angst ;-) But I have no idea where these emotions are coming from!
Also, I've started to feel very sad over small things, too. I can't shake off the feeling that everyone's unhappy with me. I know it's stupid, and I know people aren't unhappy with me. Still, that feeling lingers...
I read in my book that week 16 is supposed to be the peak of all this pregnancy emotion overload. I'm now at week 15, and I'm definitely feeling it. While normal, it doesn't make it any less disturbing to me. I'm also freaking out... what if this means I'll have post pardum depression? I wonder if that's a rational fear, if it could be linked to being overly emotional during pregnancy, or if it's something completely separate. I hope so.
Andrew's being uber supportive. He's so sweet to me, but even with him, I keep thinking I'm disappointing him or something. I just don't feel like I measure up. Blech, I need to work on shaking these feelings.
On the up side to my emotional swings, when I feel happy, I definitely feel very happy. I feel like all my emotions are amplified. Even the being tired part ;-).
I'll work on getting a bit more control over all these new extreme emotions. At the very least, I'll have to make sure to work on controlling my actions with them! The last thing I need is to have another angry outburst (This weekend, I completely embarrassed my brother by scolding a waitress who was being inexcusably rude to my dad. The worst part is now, even though he accepted my apology, I still feel overwhelmed with guilt and feel horrible. How sad is that? Logically, I know it wasn't that big of a deal, but emotionally, I can't shake it).
I feel like it's possible to get a grip on my emotions in normal circumstances. Now, I just need to master the art of controlling my pregnancy-amplified ones. I wonder if I'll be able to? Hopefully my future blogs won't be littered with desciptions of embarrassing emotional outbursts!
I'll tell you what, I've been getting very angry these last few weeks. Either I get mad at nothing, or I get really mad over something quite small. And the anger seems to last, too. I've never really been an angry person. Well, maybe during my years of teenage angst ;-) But I have no idea where these emotions are coming from!
Also, I've started to feel very sad over small things, too. I can't shake off the feeling that everyone's unhappy with me. I know it's stupid, and I know people aren't unhappy with me. Still, that feeling lingers...
I read in my book that week 16 is supposed to be the peak of all this pregnancy emotion overload. I'm now at week 15, and I'm definitely feeling it. While normal, it doesn't make it any less disturbing to me. I'm also freaking out... what if this means I'll have post pardum depression? I wonder if that's a rational fear, if it could be linked to being overly emotional during pregnancy, or if it's something completely separate. I hope so.
Andrew's being uber supportive. He's so sweet to me, but even with him, I keep thinking I'm disappointing him or something. I just don't feel like I measure up. Blech, I need to work on shaking these feelings.
On the up side to my emotional swings, when I feel happy, I definitely feel very happy. I feel like all my emotions are amplified. Even the being tired part ;-).
I'll work on getting a bit more control over all these new extreme emotions. At the very least, I'll have to make sure to work on controlling my actions with them! The last thing I need is to have another angry outburst (This weekend, I completely embarrassed my brother by scolding a waitress who was being inexcusably rude to my dad. The worst part is now, even though he accepted my apology, I still feel overwhelmed with guilt and feel horrible. How sad is that? Logically, I know it wasn't that big of a deal, but emotionally, I can't shake it).
I feel like it's possible to get a grip on my emotions in normal circumstances. Now, I just need to master the art of controlling my pregnancy-amplified ones. I wonder if I'll be able to? Hopefully my future blogs won't be littered with desciptions of embarrassing emotional outbursts!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
What'd You Say?
Nothing I can write could emphasize how exhausted I am all the time. Even on weekends, when I get to sleep in, I find myself crawling back into bed a couple of hours later. Taking Bailey outside to pee drains me, and at work, it's all I can do to stay awake.
The worst part is how it effects my memory. I don't have the energy to remember anything, and it's hopeless to even try. Never in my life have I ever felt so stupid, but I find myself completely clueless when people are talking to me. What are they referring to? Am I supposed to know what they're talking about? People will crack jokes, and I don't even realize it. It's pathetic.
Everyone assures me it's normal. Indeed, I've read about exhaustion and memory loss in my pregnancy books, but I didn't realize the extent to which they'd occur.
I've been told it gets better at the 2nd trimester. Well, here I am, week 13, and still not feeling a bit better.
It's simply frustrating being so exhausted. My personal relationships are suffering as I never feel like leaving the house to see people, and I don't have the energy to keep up the house to have people over. I want to do my share, but how can I when all I want to do, even now, is crawl back into bed for more shut eye?
The worst part is how it effects my memory. I don't have the energy to remember anything, and it's hopeless to even try. Never in my life have I ever felt so stupid, but I find myself completely clueless when people are talking to me. What are they referring to? Am I supposed to know what they're talking about? People will crack jokes, and I don't even realize it. It's pathetic.
Everyone assures me it's normal. Indeed, I've read about exhaustion and memory loss in my pregnancy books, but I didn't realize the extent to which they'd occur.
I've been told it gets better at the 2nd trimester. Well, here I am, week 13, and still not feeling a bit better.
It's simply frustrating being so exhausted. My personal relationships are suffering as I never feel like leaving the house to see people, and I don't have the energy to keep up the house to have people over. I want to do my share, but how can I when all I want to do, even now, is crawl back into bed for more shut eye?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
April 1, Part 2: Bad
This evening was very craptastic. At first, I was excited about my expanding belly. Then, as I was packing for Chicago, I was freaking out about having nothing to wear. Five out of seven days a week, I wear my scrubs. I don't need many other clothes.
I started to go through my drawers, and I was disappointed to find that I had nothing to wear. My maternity jeans and my nice black pants with the super loose waist.... and that's it. Shirts are not an issue at all at this point, but, still, one cannot go out of town for 4 days with 2 pairs of pants.
Andrew's suitcase found a similiar fate. None of his white collared shirts had been brought to the dry-cleaners, so he had no shirts to wear for the funeral and wake. I suggested we run out to Walmart, since it was 10pm.
Walmart was rough. They didn't have shirts in Andrew's size, and I could not find the maternity section for the life of me. I scowered the women's clothing, trying ot find pants where the waist had some give. There wasn't anything. I was just about to resign and try to shop in the plus section when Andrew found a small maternity section in the infant department.
By small, I mean, they had 4 maternity shirts and 4 maternity shorts. Chicago in shorts in early April? I decided it's better than being naked, so I bought a pair (on the plus side, they were only $3). Not before nearly crying in Walmart, though. These hormones have been making me cry over everything and nothing this week.
I think Andrew sensed the tears coming because he insisted the shorts were very cute.
Once we got home, I decided to finish folding the laundry and putting the clean sheets on the bed for Phuong while Andrew took Bailey for a walk. Let me tell you, Tamarac Apartments suck at ice removal. I've called on it twice since we've moved in. Andrew went out there, stepped down onto the cement, and fell straight down. His back fell into the stair. He limped his way up, and collapsed on a heap on the bed. I got him some Ibuprofen, and he laid down, not moving for a little while. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept apologizing.
That's when I decided to open his shirt from Walmart. Wouldn't you know, it was short sleeved.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I turned to Andrew, who was head down into his pillow, and I broke the news. That poor man. He thought it would be OK if he wore a sweater over it. Sweater number one: huge, gaping hole in the elbow. Sweater number two: huge, gnarly pills all over the front. Sweater number three: wide-necked, which Andrew explained you cannot wear with a sweater.
Shit.
I started to put back on some warm clothes to go back out in the cold, but Andrew insisted there was no reason for us to both go. And so he is out, back at Walmart, trying to locate a tall man's long-sleeve shirt. At first, I tried on my clothes from Walmart. The shorts were cute and comfortable, definitely worth $3, but seeing my portruding belly caused me to feel quite fat. I'm used to having some pudge around the middle. Add in a little baby and an expanding waist line, and I feel like I'm all stomach. Once it's clear that it's a baby, I'm hoping the belly will be cute. However, staring at it in the mirror, all alone in the apartment after a difficult evening, I felt absolutely ugly.
All I can say is, I'm glad I have a few days off. I'm glad I'm going to Chicago to see my family. And I'm glad that tomorrow can only be better than today.
Good night, folks.
I started to go through my drawers, and I was disappointed to find that I had nothing to wear. My maternity jeans and my nice black pants with the super loose waist.... and that's it. Shirts are not an issue at all at this point, but, still, one cannot go out of town for 4 days with 2 pairs of pants.
Andrew's suitcase found a similiar fate. None of his white collared shirts had been brought to the dry-cleaners, so he had no shirts to wear for the funeral and wake. I suggested we run out to Walmart, since it was 10pm.
Walmart was rough. They didn't have shirts in Andrew's size, and I could not find the maternity section for the life of me. I scowered the women's clothing, trying ot find pants where the waist had some give. There wasn't anything. I was just about to resign and try to shop in the plus section when Andrew found a small maternity section in the infant department.
By small, I mean, they had 4 maternity shirts and 4 maternity shorts. Chicago in shorts in early April? I decided it's better than being naked, so I bought a pair (on the plus side, they were only $3). Not before nearly crying in Walmart, though. These hormones have been making me cry over everything and nothing this week.
I think Andrew sensed the tears coming because he insisted the shorts were very cute.
Once we got home, I decided to finish folding the laundry and putting the clean sheets on the bed for Phuong while Andrew took Bailey for a walk. Let me tell you, Tamarac Apartments suck at ice removal. I've called on it twice since we've moved in. Andrew went out there, stepped down onto the cement, and fell straight down. His back fell into the stair. He limped his way up, and collapsed on a heap on the bed. I got him some Ibuprofen, and he laid down, not moving for a little while. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept apologizing.
That's when I decided to open his shirt from Walmart. Wouldn't you know, it was short sleeved.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I turned to Andrew, who was head down into his pillow, and I broke the news. That poor man. He thought it would be OK if he wore a sweater over it. Sweater number one: huge, gaping hole in the elbow. Sweater number two: huge, gnarly pills all over the front. Sweater number three: wide-necked, which Andrew explained you cannot wear with a sweater.
Shit.
I started to put back on some warm clothes to go back out in the cold, but Andrew insisted there was no reason for us to both go. And so he is out, back at Walmart, trying to locate a tall man's long-sleeve shirt. At first, I tried on my clothes from Walmart. The shorts were cute and comfortable, definitely worth $3, but seeing my portruding belly caused me to feel quite fat. I'm used to having some pudge around the middle. Add in a little baby and an expanding waist line, and I feel like I'm all stomach. Once it's clear that it's a baby, I'm hoping the belly will be cute. However, staring at it in the mirror, all alone in the apartment after a difficult evening, I felt absolutely ugly.
All I can say is, I'm glad I have a few days off. I'm glad I'm going to Chicago to see my family. And I'm glad that tomorrow can only be better than today.
Good night, folks.
April 1, Part 1: Good
Today, I went to my second appointment with my OB-GYN. First the nurse took me back and had me take a urine sample and checked my blood pressure and such. Then, she pulled out this funky instrument and said, "Let's try to hear its heart beat." I must have look surprised because she explained that there was a good chance we would not hear it at this visit. Apparently, from 9-12 weeks, luck has a lot to do with hearing the heart.
It took a few minutes, but the nurse finally found it. It sounded echo-y, like it was from a cave. Definitely very neat!
After that, I was taken to meet Dr. Susan. She was so nice! She discussed me going to an endocrinologist to make sure my thyroid levels stay perfect throughout the pregnancy. Then, she proceeded to do the ultrasound to make sure that everything was growing properly.
I couldn't believe it. My blob was replaced by a very definite human fetus. I could see a head and arms, and then it started to wiggle! It was so neat. It waved it's arms all about. I laughed and was surprised that I couldn't feel any of its crazy movements. She told me that it's a very, very good thing to see a fetus moving at this stage. Everything seems to be healthy!
Honestly, I was a bit disappointed that Dr. Oster had told me I didn't need to bring Andrew for this visit. Of course, she couldn't have known I'd get to hear the heart beat and see the fetus move and wiggle around, but if I'd known there was a chance for those, I would have definitely brought Andrew. I had to give him the play-by-play after the appointment, and he got pretty excited for me.
In other news, I can definitely see that the bottom of my belly is bigger. I'm certain it's no longer my imagination! Some of my panties are too tight for me to wear now, and I've stopped wearing all but my loosest pants, scrubs and maternity pants.
I'd gained 3 pounds. It doesn't seem like it'd be enough to make one switch pants, but it definitely is...
It took a few minutes, but the nurse finally found it. It sounded echo-y, like it was from a cave. Definitely very neat!
After that, I was taken to meet Dr. Susan. She was so nice! She discussed me going to an endocrinologist to make sure my thyroid levels stay perfect throughout the pregnancy. Then, she proceeded to do the ultrasound to make sure that everything was growing properly.
I couldn't believe it. My blob was replaced by a very definite human fetus. I could see a head and arms, and then it started to wiggle! It was so neat. It waved it's arms all about. I laughed and was surprised that I couldn't feel any of its crazy movements. She told me that it's a very, very good thing to see a fetus moving at this stage. Everything seems to be healthy!
Honestly, I was a bit disappointed that Dr. Oster had told me I didn't need to bring Andrew for this visit. Of course, she couldn't have known I'd get to hear the heart beat and see the fetus move and wiggle around, but if I'd known there was a chance for those, I would have definitely brought Andrew. I had to give him the play-by-play after the appointment, and he got pretty excited for me.
In other news, I can definitely see that the bottom of my belly is bigger. I'm certain it's no longer my imagination! Some of my panties are too tight for me to wear now, and I've stopped wearing all but my loosest pants, scrubs and maternity pants.
I'd gained 3 pounds. It doesn't seem like it'd be enough to make one switch pants, but it definitely is...
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