Oliver turned 19 months old yesterday, but I wasn't able to get him in for his 18-month check up until today. Poor Oliver had a meltdown that lasted the entire time we were in the exam room. He wanted me to pick him up and carry him, but I couldn't do that. I just wanted to cry, I felt so bad, but instead I tried to cuddle him and distract him and then I tried being stern. Nothing worked. The moment we left the office, he stopped shrieking and crying.
Oliver's height is 32.5", which puts him in the 46th percentile. His weight is 22 pounds, 11 ounces, which puts him in the 9th percentile for weight. His head circumference is 19", which is the 60th percentile.
The doctor asked me if we'd started potty training yet. I was happy that her question seemed to indicate that it's perfectly acceptable to start teaching now. I told her we've started, but we haven't started working on it seriously yet. She told me that's good and gave me a little handout with a few tips (nothing really new). I decided that I want to start seriously working with Oliver on potty training after our trip to Chicago in June (since I think travel will just mess him up while he's learning).
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Health/Pregnancy Update
This was the first morning I woke up without any bleeding since Monday. I was happy not to see any blood, but I was also sad because it meant I wasn't passing that clot. I'd like to pass the last of the blood if I can!
It's four in the afternoon, and I just had my first mid-day bleed. It was pretty heavy--not as heavy as Monday, but about on par with Tuesday's bleed. Part of me is nervous; did I re-tear something? Another part of me is hopeful; could I have passed the last of the blood? Unfortunately, I don't have anymore ultrasounds until June 22 (unless something goes wrong before then). So, I guess I'll be hopeful and hope I'm passing the last of this blood. That would mean no more stress on the amniotic sac!
It's four in the afternoon, and I just had my first mid-day bleed. It was pretty heavy--not as heavy as Monday, but about on par with Tuesday's bleed. Part of me is nervous; did I re-tear something? Another part of me is hopeful; could I have passed the last of the blood? Unfortunately, I don't have anymore ultrasounds until June 22 (unless something goes wrong before then). So, I guess I'll be hopeful and hope I'm passing the last of this blood. That would mean no more stress on the amniotic sac!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Ultrasound Check (16 Weeks)
Another small bleed this morning. I'd say it was about as heavy (or light, as it were) as yesterday morning and the morning before.
I went in to Pediatrix for my scheduled ultrasound at Swedish today. Based on my cycles, I'm exactly 16 weeks (although according to ultrasounds, the baby is older and will be 17 weeks on Monday).
I heard a lot of good news as well as some bad news. The good news is that the little one is thriving. She's definitely a girl, and she weighs about 5 ounces and is over four inches long from head to butt. They were able to get good views of her back, heart, diaphram and brain. Everything looked great!
They were also able to see some clotting near the cervix. The tech told me to expect a little more bleeding as that works itself out (she said it can also cause cramping). Later, the doctor came in and took a closer look at an area. She said that some blood has pooled between the amniotic sac and the uterine wall. Doing some research on the internet at home, I later determined that she was probably talking about a subchorionic hematoma. She told me that this puts me at increased risk of my water breaking early (thus going into pre-term labor). She said, "Hopefully, that won't happen too early."
After I got home, I started to think more about what she said and really wondered if it was actually likely that this would happen, based on what she said. I mean, why didn't she say, "Hopefully, that won't be a problem," instead of, "Hopefully, that won't happen too early?" Is it almost a certainty that it will break? If I don't absorb or pass the blood, then is it almost a certainty? Am I going to have my water break at any time? At this point, should I just be hoping that I can make it to 24 weeks? With these questions nagging me, I decided to call to get some clarification. A nurse is supposed to call back today, so hopefully that will happen shortly.
On the internet, there's a decent amount of information and even support groups for people with subchorionic hematomas. Apparently, if they occur in the first trimester, they can result in 40-50% chance of miscarriages (depending on the size of the hematoma). If they develop (or are found) late in the first trimester or in the second trimester, there are other concerns. I guess they can keep the placenta from implanting into the uterine wall, and they can irritate the amniotic sac, causing it to rupture. Based on what the doctor said to me, I'm guessing the placement of the hematoma in my body is in a position where it can irritate the amniotic sac (but hopefully not placenta implantation). Many women pass the clot or reabsorb it. One support group that I was reading had women commenting that it seems people who are diagnosed with this in the second trimester don't reabsorb it as often as women do early in the pregnancy.
I have a follow-up appointment scheduled in about four weeks to check to see how the blood is doing. Now that I know I'm not having any new bleeds, I'm actually hoping I can bleed this away. I've set a few goals. Although I know there is little I can do to help, I'm mentally shooting for the 24 week mark. That's July 22 (based on my cycle date, which is a little more conservative than my ultrasound date). Babies can survive as early as 18 weeks, but they usually have a rough life of infections, complications, chronic illness, surgeries, etc. Twenty-four weeks is my goal. September 2 will be when I hit 30 weeks. That is my second goal. My midwife told me, if a woman can't make it to full-term, they at least want women to make it to 30 weeks and for the fetus to reach three pounds. Full-term (38 weeks) would be October 28--two days before Oliver's second birthday. That will be my third goal. For now, though, I'm focusing on July 22. In my mind, I want my body to make it to July 22. That's what it'll take for me to have a good chance at having a baby girl who will have a good chance at being healthy. July 22.
Update: More good news! The nurse called back and said she'd spoken to the doctor. The doctor estimates my risk of "something bad happening" to be about 6%. Six percent! Those odds are about 1/16. I prefer to be an optimist and say there's a 15/16 (94%) chance that things are going to be just fine.
I'd also left a message asking about travel. She said the doctor says it is just fine for me to travel to Chicago next month. However, she said traveling later in pregnancy is probably not a good idea but to discuss it with my midwife. Apparently, women are advised not to travel at all after 36 weeks but especially if they're considered "at risk." This is not good, as I'm supposed to drive to Texas for my brother-in-law's Texas-ranch-destination wedding in mid-October. Of course, I would choose a healthy baby over travel anywhere for any reason, but it would be sad to miss the big event. I guess I'll wait and see.
I went in to Pediatrix for my scheduled ultrasound at Swedish today. Based on my cycles, I'm exactly 16 weeks (although according to ultrasounds, the baby is older and will be 17 weeks on Monday).
I heard a lot of good news as well as some bad news. The good news is that the little one is thriving. She's definitely a girl, and she weighs about 5 ounces and is over four inches long from head to butt. They were able to get good views of her back, heart, diaphram and brain. Everything looked great!
They were also able to see some clotting near the cervix. The tech told me to expect a little more bleeding as that works itself out (she said it can also cause cramping). Later, the doctor came in and took a closer look at an area. She said that some blood has pooled between the amniotic sac and the uterine wall. Doing some research on the internet at home, I later determined that she was probably talking about a subchorionic hematoma. She told me that this puts me at increased risk of my water breaking early (thus going into pre-term labor). She said, "Hopefully, that won't happen too early."
After I got home, I started to think more about what she said and really wondered if it was actually likely that this would happen, based on what she said. I mean, why didn't she say, "Hopefully, that won't be a problem," instead of, "Hopefully, that won't happen too early?" Is it almost a certainty that it will break? If I don't absorb or pass the blood, then is it almost a certainty? Am I going to have my water break at any time? At this point, should I just be hoping that I can make it to 24 weeks? With these questions nagging me, I decided to call to get some clarification. A nurse is supposed to call back today, so hopefully that will happen shortly.
On the internet, there's a decent amount of information and even support groups for people with subchorionic hematomas. Apparently, if they occur in the first trimester, they can result in 40-50% chance of miscarriages (depending on the size of the hematoma). If they develop (or are found) late in the first trimester or in the second trimester, there are other concerns. I guess they can keep the placenta from implanting into the uterine wall, and they can irritate the amniotic sac, causing it to rupture. Based on what the doctor said to me, I'm guessing the placement of the hematoma in my body is in a position where it can irritate the amniotic sac (but hopefully not placenta implantation). Many women pass the clot or reabsorb it. One support group that I was reading had women commenting that it seems people who are diagnosed with this in the second trimester don't reabsorb it as often as women do early in the pregnancy.
I have a follow-up appointment scheduled in about four weeks to check to see how the blood is doing. Now that I know I'm not having any new bleeds, I'm actually hoping I can bleed this away. I've set a few goals. Although I know there is little I can do to help, I'm mentally shooting for the 24 week mark. That's July 22 (based on my cycle date, which is a little more conservative than my ultrasound date). Babies can survive as early as 18 weeks, but they usually have a rough life of infections, complications, chronic illness, surgeries, etc. Twenty-four weeks is my goal. September 2 will be when I hit 30 weeks. That is my second goal. My midwife told me, if a woman can't make it to full-term, they at least want women to make it to 30 weeks and for the fetus to reach three pounds. Full-term (38 weeks) would be October 28--two days before Oliver's second birthday. That will be my third goal. For now, though, I'm focusing on July 22. In my mind, I want my body to make it to July 22. That's what it'll take for me to have a good chance at having a baby girl who will have a good chance at being healthy. July 22.
Update: More good news! The nurse called back and said she'd spoken to the doctor. The doctor estimates my risk of "something bad happening" to be about 6%. Six percent! Those odds are about 1/16. I prefer to be an optimist and say there's a 15/16 (94%) chance that things are going to be just fine.
I'd also left a message asking about travel. She said the doctor says it is just fine for me to travel to Chicago next month. However, she said traveling later in pregnancy is probably not a good idea but to discuss it with my midwife. Apparently, women are advised not to travel at all after 36 weeks but especially if they're considered "at risk." This is not good, as I'm supposed to drive to Texas for my brother-in-law's Texas-ranch-destination wedding in mid-October. Of course, I would choose a healthy baby over travel anywhere for any reason, but it would be sad to miss the big event. I guess I'll wait and see.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Midwife Appointment
I went to see my midwife today as a follow-up from the ER. I got to hear the little one's heartbeat (in the 140s), and we had a good talk. She assured me that second-trimester miscarriages are very rare. She also told me not to stress my body out, but also wanted to clarify that everything is out of my hands. She really wanted me to understand that if I do miscarry, it's not my fault. I get what she's saying, but it's still not something I want to think about or deal with emotionally yet.
We set up an ultrasound for tomorrow morning with Pediatrix/Obsentrix, who have the really high-quality equipment. She's hoping we can see exactly what's wrong by going there.
We set up an ultrasound for tomorrow morning with Pediatrix/Obsentrix, who have the really high-quality equipment. She's hoping we can see exactly what's wrong by going there.
Feeling Well
I tried to sleep sitting up last night, hoping it would help me avoid any further bleeding. I slept that way until 1am before throwing in the towel. I shoved a pillow behind my back and tried to sleep sideways (but leaning backwards) with another pillow between my knees. I definitely felt more comfortable with less pressure and fewer aches. In the morning, though, I still had a few drops of blood. I'd guess that it was about the same amount as yesterday morning. This might be the normal for this pregnancy. I guess that as long as the baby is thriving, then that'll be OK. Many women spot throughout their pregnancy--I guess a few drops in the morning isn't all that different.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
First Clothes
It might sound a bit depressing to other people (I'm not sure), but today, I decided I wanted to buy our upcoming baby a new outfit. I told Andrew that it'll help cement it in my mind that she'll be coming home with us in a few months.
Sigh
I took a nap this morning. When I woke up, I had more bleeding. It's still not as much as yesterday, but I wonder why sleeping causes the bleeding. It's a little upsetting, and it makes me not want to sleep! I might try sleeping upright on the couch tonight to see if that helps.
More Pregnancy Scares
So, Monday morning, I discovered I'd bled quite a bit. I filled the toilet with dark blood and went to an urgent care clinic run by Swedish Hospital. Yesterday (Tuesday), I woke up, and I dripped out as I got out of bed. I didn't bleed as much as the day before, but it was still significant, and I was terrified. Andrew took me straight to Swedish Hospital. The bleeding had stopped before we left the house.
Again, they ran tests. This time, they drew vials of blood, did an exam, and did an ultrasound. The ultrasound wasn't as detailed as the one I'd gotten the morning before, but it did let us know the baby was doing well, moving, and had a heart beat of 140. After three hours, I was sent home. The doctor talked to me and told me everything else looks good (my cervix is still closed, but he could see dried blood), but bleeding is not normal. He told me that resting is a good idea and might be able to help, but he also explained to me that everything is basically out of my hands. He said, "Rebecca, if you're going to miscarry, you're going to miscarry, and there's nothing you can do about that." I think that was something I needed to hear, but it was also something I didn't want to hear. I wanted to be told that if I did a certain thing, then the baby would be OK. He couldn't tell me that.
My mom came home with me again to help with Oliver. Poor Oliver has been quite a trooper through everything. He had a really, really rough time learning that I'm not going to be picking him up and carrying him around any more, but he's also really risen to the occasion. That little boy has learned to do so much by himself in a short amount of time. He climbs upstairs when he wants to play up there or get a diaper change, and he climbs back down. When we leave the house, the crawls down the front steps and even has crawled off the curb to get to the car. He's learned to hold my hand while crossing parking lots and has just been absolutely, completely amazing. I can't do as much house work, so I sit on the floor frequently to play blocks or bowling pins with him. He's definitely getting a lot of love and attention, but it's hard for him sometimes. He still holds his hands up to me sometimes to pick him up. I'll sit down and get on the floor with him, and (for the most part) he's stopped crying at this.
This morning, when I woke up, I had a few drops of blood, but it wasn't even enough to change the color of the toilet water. It was a lot less. I felt good this morning. I wondered if I'd torn something, and when I sleep, maybe my muscles relax enough for the blood to come out. A lot less blood is a good thing, and maybe it means the tear is really healing. If so, I'm hoping there is no blood tomorrow (or almost none).
People have been coming forward with so much support. It actually helps a lot. I've never really been in a situation where I needed people to rally around me, but now that I'm here, I feel so loved and cared for. In addition to my mom's help, Colleen (Andrew's mom) took the day off today and is going to watch Oliver. Andrew and I cancelled our road trip/camping trip with Oliver (which was supposed to take place from yesterday evening through Sunday), but he kept his days off to help Oliver adjust and to help me. I've gotten phone calls from friends and relatives--even Andrew's great-aunt called. People have given me supportive messages on Facebook and told me they were thinking positive thoughts and praying for me. While I'm not a religious person, I know that those things really do help people. For example, the "power of prayer" works for people when they know they're being prayed for. I keep reminding myself of all the people who want this little baby girl to make it through. Andrew keeps telling me to picture the end result, so I keep imagining this little swaddled baby being handed to me at the hospital with a pink cap on.
I also keep thinking of how remarkable and impossible it is that our baby girl is here. I think about how my ancestors had to immigrate from Denmark and Germany and Poland and Ireland, and they had to meet and get married and have kids at a specific time to create the gene pool that created me. Andrew's Welsh and Irish ancestors had to immigrate here. His parents had to move back to Denver, and mine had to move to Denver for us to meet. We both had to drop out of our universities and decide to go to community college to meet! Who would have thought that those actions would lead to something so amazing? Circumstances and timing had to be absolutely perfect for this tiny little girl to exist. I think about how she has made it this far, a statistical impossibility in some ways (if you think about it), and I'm determined to meet her. She's made it this far, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she gets another five months in my womb to grow and thrive and have a chance at life.
In five months, I want this baby. It's past the first trimester. Miscarriages at this point in the pregnancy are so rare. The worst is over. Now I just need to take it easy and let her body grow.
Again, they ran tests. This time, they drew vials of blood, did an exam, and did an ultrasound. The ultrasound wasn't as detailed as the one I'd gotten the morning before, but it did let us know the baby was doing well, moving, and had a heart beat of 140. After three hours, I was sent home. The doctor talked to me and told me everything else looks good (my cervix is still closed, but he could see dried blood), but bleeding is not normal. He told me that resting is a good idea and might be able to help, but he also explained to me that everything is basically out of my hands. He said, "Rebecca, if you're going to miscarry, you're going to miscarry, and there's nothing you can do about that." I think that was something I needed to hear, but it was also something I didn't want to hear. I wanted to be told that if I did a certain thing, then the baby would be OK. He couldn't tell me that.
My mom came home with me again to help with Oliver. Poor Oliver has been quite a trooper through everything. He had a really, really rough time learning that I'm not going to be picking him up and carrying him around any more, but he's also really risen to the occasion. That little boy has learned to do so much by himself in a short amount of time. He climbs upstairs when he wants to play up there or get a diaper change, and he climbs back down. When we leave the house, the crawls down the front steps and even has crawled off the curb to get to the car. He's learned to hold my hand while crossing parking lots and has just been absolutely, completely amazing. I can't do as much house work, so I sit on the floor frequently to play blocks or bowling pins with him. He's definitely getting a lot of love and attention, but it's hard for him sometimes. He still holds his hands up to me sometimes to pick him up. I'll sit down and get on the floor with him, and (for the most part) he's stopped crying at this.
This morning, when I woke up, I had a few drops of blood, but it wasn't even enough to change the color of the toilet water. It was a lot less. I felt good this morning. I wondered if I'd torn something, and when I sleep, maybe my muscles relax enough for the blood to come out. A lot less blood is a good thing, and maybe it means the tear is really healing. If so, I'm hoping there is no blood tomorrow (or almost none).
People have been coming forward with so much support. It actually helps a lot. I've never really been in a situation where I needed people to rally around me, but now that I'm here, I feel so loved and cared for. In addition to my mom's help, Colleen (Andrew's mom) took the day off today and is going to watch Oliver. Andrew and I cancelled our road trip/camping trip with Oliver (which was supposed to take place from yesterday evening through Sunday), but he kept his days off to help Oliver adjust and to help me. I've gotten phone calls from friends and relatives--even Andrew's great-aunt called. People have given me supportive messages on Facebook and told me they were thinking positive thoughts and praying for me. While I'm not a religious person, I know that those things really do help people. For example, the "power of prayer" works for people when they know they're being prayed for. I keep reminding myself of all the people who want this little baby girl to make it through. Andrew keeps telling me to picture the end result, so I keep imagining this little swaddled baby being handed to me at the hospital with a pink cap on.
I also keep thinking of how remarkable and impossible it is that our baby girl is here. I think about how my ancestors had to immigrate from Denmark and Germany and Poland and Ireland, and they had to meet and get married and have kids at a specific time to create the gene pool that created me. Andrew's Welsh and Irish ancestors had to immigrate here. His parents had to move back to Denver, and mine had to move to Denver for us to meet. We both had to drop out of our universities and decide to go to community college to meet! Who would have thought that those actions would lead to something so amazing? Circumstances and timing had to be absolutely perfect for this tiny little girl to exist. I think about how she has made it this far, a statistical impossibility in some ways (if you think about it), and I'm determined to meet her. She's made it this far, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she gets another five months in my womb to grow and thrive and have a chance at life.
In five months, I want this baby. It's past the first trimester. Miscarriages at this point in the pregnancy are so rare. The worst is over. Now I just need to take it easy and let her body grow.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Health Scare
This morning, I woke up and found that I was bleeding. I had passed a decent amount of bright red blood. It was only one episode, and the blood stopped. Terrified for my pregnancy, Andrew took me to the urgent care a few miles from our house.
The doctor spoke to me for a while and then ordered an ultrasound. I was glad she'd ordered it because I wanted to see that the baby was moving and had a heart beat. I was also terrified of what it could show.
When the ultrasound tech wheeled me into the ultrasound room, I could feel my stomach do a flip-flop. I felt so afraid of what I was about to see. It turns out, I didn't have to be afraid. The little one was wiggling all around, doing flips and rolls and moving all about! The tech also checked the heart rate, which read 154. That's a healthy rate!
After checking other parts of my body, from the cervix to the ovaries, the tech announced to me that my first ultrasound tech was right. We are having a girl! I was trying not to have ugly cries at that point. Our baby was OK, I was OK, and our baby's a girl!
The doctor later let me know that it looked like there was a very small separation of the placenta from the wall. She said it can heal if I take it easy, and it's important I don't make it worse. She told me I shouldn't bend over too much, and I shouldn't lift heavy things. She said I need to carry Oliver as little as possible and try not to pick up objects heavier than five pounds. She said I shouldn't do a lot of housework and shouldn't do strenuous exercise. She said I don't need to be on complete bed rest, but I do need to rest and try to heal.
My mom came and spent the rest of the day with me, helping Oliver adjust to a life of not being carried all the time. Thankfully, the little man has done quite well for himself. He looked so proud holding my hand and crossing the parking lot to the car to go home! It's going to be a rough few months for him, but I'm going to do everything I can to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby girl.
The doctor spoke to me for a while and then ordered an ultrasound. I was glad she'd ordered it because I wanted to see that the baby was moving and had a heart beat. I was also terrified of what it could show.
When the ultrasound tech wheeled me into the ultrasound room, I could feel my stomach do a flip-flop. I felt so afraid of what I was about to see. It turns out, I didn't have to be afraid. The little one was wiggling all around, doing flips and rolls and moving all about! The tech also checked the heart rate, which read 154. That's a healthy rate!
After checking other parts of my body, from the cervix to the ovaries, the tech announced to me that my first ultrasound tech was right. We are having a girl! I was trying not to have ugly cries at that point. Our baby was OK, I was OK, and our baby's a girl!
The doctor later let me know that it looked like there was a very small separation of the placenta from the wall. She said it can heal if I take it easy, and it's important I don't make it worse. She told me I shouldn't bend over too much, and I shouldn't lift heavy things. She said I need to carry Oliver as little as possible and try not to pick up objects heavier than five pounds. She said I shouldn't do a lot of housework and shouldn't do strenuous exercise. She said I don't need to be on complete bed rest, but I do need to rest and try to heal.
My mom came and spent the rest of the day with me, helping Oliver adjust to a life of not being carried all the time. Thankfully, the little man has done quite well for himself. He looked so proud holding my hand and crossing the parking lot to the car to go home! It's going to be a rough few months for him, but I'm going to do everything I can to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby girl.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Aunt Doris's Chocolate Sheet Cake
My Great Aunt Doris's chocolate sheet cake is famous within our family. Aunt Doris is my dad's mother's sister. I guess that would make her Oliver's great-great aunt. Holy cow!
Keep this recipe on hand for the next time you have a chocolate craving and a lot of people. It makes a whole cookie sheet's worth of cake, so you can easily feed a group.
2. Let your toddler lick the disconnected beater paddle.
Aunt Doris's Chocolate Sheet Cake
2 cups sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 stick margarine
1/2 cup cooking oil
4 tbsp (1/4 cup) cocoa powder
1 cup water
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon baking soda
Aunt Doris's Chocolate Sheet Cake Icing (recipe to follow)
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease and flour a 10" x 15.25" x 3/4" cookie sheet.
2. Mix together the sugar, flour and salt in a large mixing bowl (or your KitchenAid bowl, if you're using one). Set aside.
3. In a saucepan, bring margarine, oil, cocoa and water to a boil. Mix into the flour mixture and beat. Add the eggs, one at a time, and the vanilla. Beat well. Mix in the buttermilk and baking soda.
4. Pour into prepared pan and bake 20 minutes. After cooling, frost with Aunt Doris's chocolate sheet cake icing.
Aunt Doris's Chocolate Sheet Cake Icing
1 stick margarine
4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) cocoa powder
1/3 cup milk
1 box (approximately 4 cups) confectioner's sugar (powdered sugar)
1 tsp vanilla
1. In a sauce pan, bring the margarine, cocoa and milk to a boil. Cool slightly and stir in the confectioner's sugar and vanilla. Beat.
2. Let your toddler lick the disconnected beater paddle.
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