Thursday, June 3, 2010

Oliver the Food Critic

Hello to my friends, family, and fans! My name is Oliver. I've been eating for over three months now, and I decided I'd like to share my opinion of food with you.

First, I'd like to start with rice cereal because that's what I ate first. I liked it a lot, but, to be honest, it made me constipated. Now I only eat a little rice cereal mixed in other foods to thicken them up. I'm OK with that.

After rice cereal, I tried baby oatmeal. Oatmeal is delicious! I like it mixed with Mom's milk, warm water, formula, or apple sauce. It's a good source of iron, and it's so tasty. When I eat it, my mom sings me a song that goes like this: "Noms, the oatmeal. Noms, noms, the oatmeal." It's very enjoyable dinner entertainment.

I've tried pears a few times. Mom makes them for me by pealing them, chopping them, and boiling them. They're spectacular. If you want something sweet, I highly recommend you go by yourself a pear. Maybe my mom will boil it for you.

This brings me to apples. While not dissimilar to pears, I prefer pears to apples. I'll eat applesauce straight, but I'd be happier if you mix them with bananas or oatmeal.

Oooh, speaking of bananas, I love them! Honestly, they might be my favorite food. Mom tells me they're cheap, sometimes just forty cents a pound! I guess you can't get better than cheap and tasty. I love bananas. Mom used to mash them with some milk, but she found I love them just as much straight up. I eat half of a mashed banana at a time, but I've been trying to tell Mom to give me a whole banana. Tell your mom not to mash your banana too smoothly because the banana chunks are the best part. My mom makes sure all the chunks are smaller than the size of a pea, though, to make sure I don't choke. That's a good idea. I would like to eat bananas always. I wish I could eat just bananas and drink milk all day, every day. The best part of bananas is when mom sings that children's song to me: Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs. Bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears!
Similar to bananas, though not quite as good, are avocados. I like avocado! I eat it plain or mashed with banana. Mom likes it because it doesn't require any cooking. I like it for the texture and flavor.

Mom once bought sweet potatoes and cooked them in the oven and mashed them with her milk for me. What kind of sick person eats sweet potatoes straight? Not this baby, that's for sure. The worst part is, she and Dad kept trying to give them to me. I'd make a face, I'd even cry, but they would bust out the potatoes night after night for a week. Thankfully, they've stopped trying to give them to me straight up like that.

I do, however, like roasted acorn squash mashed with milk. It's both simple and scrumptious. If you want, you can add a pinch of cinnamon to it, but you don't have to. If you're being good, your mom might sing a silly made up song that goes like this: Who likes'm squash? Ollie likes'm squash.

My favorite vegetable has to be green beans. Mom buys them in a jar instead of making them. I like looking at the jar, and I want to grab the jar, but she won't let me have it. Green beans are so good and flavorful. Mom made up a green bean song to the tune of "It Stoned Me." Instead of singing, "Oh the water," she sings, "Noms, the green beans." Isn't she silly? Bring on the green beans, Mom!

Speaking of jarred food, I also eat peas from the jar. They're an excellent food choice. Please, have your mom go out and buy you a jar of peas today. You won't be disappointed. Oh, and do you know that Beach Boys song, "Barbara Ann?" Well, when my mom was a kid, she said they made a Chicago Cubs commercial to that tune, and it went, "Cubs, Cubs, Cubs, here come the Cubs." She sings me that song, only she sings, "Peas, peas, peas, here come the peas. Peas peas, peas, here come the peas. Oh, peas. I love my peas. Love 'em steamed, love 'em mashed, I love 'em, love 'em, love' em, love my peas, peas, peas...." I smile and gobble those peas up!

Mommy makes me carrots sometimes, and, honestly, how can you go wrong with carrots? They're orange, colorful, flavorful, and sweet! I recommend eating carrots pureed until they're smooth. Although I normally like chunky foods, carrots are one of the few foods that are better smooth. Also, don't even think about eating them with dill weed. Mom added some dill weed in there once, and it was the worst thing I've ever tried. Worse than sweet potato, for sure.

There's one more jar food that I've tried, and it's called Nutritious Turkey Dinner. Mom makes a funny face when she gives it to me, but I really dig it. At first, I thought it was weird. After a few bites, I was sold. If you try Nutritious Turkey Dinner, don't be surprised if you don't like it at first, but I promise you, if you keep tasting it, it'll grow on you.

My Grandma Colleen made me some homemade turkey dinner. It had ground turkey, apples, onions, and sweet potato in it. At first, I didn't like the texture of the ground turkey and spit the bits out, but then Grandma blended it up more for me. She's a nice lady. I don't think I like the homemade turkey dinner that much, though. Maybe it's the sweet potato in it. Why does everyone try to make me eat sweet potatoes? I think it's a conspiracy. Next time you give Grandma a baby food recipe, Mom, make sure there's no sweet potatoes in it, OK?

Speaking of sweet potato disasters, get this: my mom mixed baked sweet potatoes with steamed carrots and parsnip! Well, I gave it a try, and I ate a whole serving for dinner. Mom took that to mean that I liked sweet potatoes mixed with other foods, so she started making all sorts of new foods for me to try from her baby recipe book. She even made sweet potatoes mixed with steamed broccoli! I decided to let her know that this was not OK. I didn't eat the sweet potatoes with broccoli, and then I refused to eat the sweet potatoes with carrots and parsnip again. Take that, Mom!

My favorite blend that Mom has ever made was the mix of pears, peaches, and blueberries. It was so good! I ate a lot, and I wanted more when it was all gone. I hope she makes that for me again very soon. If you're a good boy, maybe your mom will make some for you.

Mom didn't use all the blueberries she'd bought when she made my fruit puree, so she mashed up some blueberry quarters for me to eat as finger foods. It was too hard to pick those slippery guys up! Thankfully, she helped me and put some in my mouth. I really enjoyed chewing them!

I also eat Cheerio halves for finger foods. I like to look at the Cheerio pieces and grab them, but I don't put them into my mouth myself. I need Mom to do that for me. They're very good, and they're fun to mash in my mouth. I make sure to mash them really well before I swallow them. Sometimes, Mommy and Daddy giggle at me because I mash each half for a few minutes before swallowing it. Safety first, guys.

Last weekend, my mom let me eat Yobaby yogurt. Oh man, yogurt is so good. I'm not making this up. I have tried pear and peach flavor, and I can't get enough. Please, just keep spooning it in. Don't pause! Just shovel it in. I'll handle it from there.

Finally, the last food I've tried is hard boiled egg yolks mashed with Mom's milk. When Mom first let me try the eggs, I thought it was some kind of joke. It's like nothing I'd ever had before! I spit it out right away, and I scrunched up my face to let her know that I did not appreciate her egg joke. For added emphasis, I even gagged. And that was just the first spoonful! I'll tell you what, though. I'm a trooper, and I stuck with it. I'm so glad I did! By the forth or fifth bite, I really started to enjoy it. I decided I really like eggs! It helped that Mom made up a funny song. She sang, "Is your name Meg? No, it's not. Would you like an egg? I'd like it a lot."

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