Troubles in Gymnastics Class

Urg, I am having a rough time with my favorite 3 year old. I feel so helpless sometimes, trying to figure out what to do when he acts out.

He started a "big kid" gymnastics class last month. Instead of me being in the class with him, I sit on the bleachers and observe. The first class went so well! Here he is with one of his coaches on the balance beam:

It's been downhill since that class. He's been throwing tantrums, picking up items and throwing them and kids, and hitting other children! The worst part is, when he does it, he looks right at me. I know he's testing to see what happens. Although I want the coaches to be in charge, I also don't want to make them figure out what to do with a child who is hitting other kids. When he hits or throws things, I intervene and put him in time out. That causes him to cry, and then he is a helpless case for his coaches the rest of class. He's had four classes now, and we've left two of them within the first ten minutes because he just breaks down, throws a tantrum, and throws things at other kids. I'm trying to be consistent: If he is going to act out and throw things, then he gets a time out. If he keeps it up, then we have to leave. He loves gymnastics class (we'd done the parent-tot one for a while), and cries the whole way home because "he lost it." Yet, as soon as we get back to this class, he's up to the same behavior. I keep telling myself my consistency will pay off, but I'm disheartened.

Oliver's very first class without Mom

Oliver is growing up so quickly. Yesterday, I dropped him off at his first-ever class without me. It's a toddler/preschooler cooking class, and kids have to be at least 3 years old and potty trained to join. Oliver was one of the youngest.

Oliver has never been left with a babysitter (other than grandparents), and I know he can have a tough time giving other kids a turn to play. So, I planned on sitting in the first class in case he needed intervention or help. We got there, and the teachers let me know I could wait out in the hallway and watch from outside the classroom. I told Oliver I'd be out in the hallway if he needed me. When I stepped out of the classroom, I felt my eyes well up. Apparently, I'm a big sap.

I watched from the hallway. Oliver sat around the table with all of the other kids and was very well behaved. He listened to the teachers, did what they asked, and didn't seem to fret that I wasn't there. They made coffee cake, and Oliver got to measure and dump in one of the cups of flour. I felt so proud of him and also pretty wistful at how big he's getting. He's going to classes without me. In a year and a half, he'll be going to preschool. Holy cow.

He did so well that I felt silly hanging out in the hallway all class long with Jo. Next week, I think we'll drop him off for real and go back home for the duration of the class.

Music Class

Oliver has begun to thrive in music class. For the first time today, he walked into class on his own. It helped that I'd reminded him of all the fun things he gets to do in class. I'd said, "We're going to music class! You remember music class, where you get to play with the drums and maracas? And you get to listen to the song, "Watch out for the--FREEZE?"

He went in (only slightly hesitantly), and he didn't cry during any of the guitar parts. While he didn't participate in a number of songs, he did shake the maracas, throw the Wiffle balls onto the parachute, and help with all of the clean up (his favorite part). I left class feeling confident that I wanted to take it again with Oliver. It's really helping him be more social and cooperative with others.

Oliver's First Music Class (Again)

Oliver had his first music class today! That's kind of a lie. He's taken music class once before, but that was last winter (March - April). Today was his first music class since then.

Now that Oliver's older, music class doesn't conflict with his nap schedule. It starts at 9:30am now, and Oliver doesn't nap until 11:30am. So, that's good. I wish I could say that this first music class was a lot better than the last time, but that was not the case. Oliver confidently walked with me from the car to the rec center. I'd let him know there would be music and kids, and he sounded excited. However, just as we were about to step into the room, Oliver freaked out. He yelled, "No!" When I tried to tell him it was OK, he just threw himself to the floor.

I had a talk with Oliver about the class again. I told him there were kids and music, but crying isn't allowed. Then, I picked him up and carried him to the doorway and let him watch for a little bit. Then, I took him inside. He kept saying, "No," the entire time, and I felt bad. But, I tried to stay confident, and I took off his shoes and our jackets. I let him watch the kids for a while, and then we took a seat on the carpet. All of the other kids (like last time) were running around and playing. Oliver was too scared, but he did watch them.

When music class started, the teacher took out the guitar. Oliver was upset about this and started to cry. Thankfully, it only lasted a minute or so, and then we were on to the next activity (remember, this is the ADD music class!). He loved the activities where we danced and paused or danced and dipped. As soon as he'd get into it and start having fun, the activity was over.

Not all of the kids were very well behaved. One little guy liked to throw things--anything. Another little one liked to hit walls and windows with his instruments. I was glad I don't have to deal with those behaviors from Oliver, but I also wished he wasn't the only kid who wouldn't play the drums and maracas. He didn't for any of his classes last time, and he didn't this time, either.

Class is 45 minutes long. By the end, he was socializing a little more. During the maraca song (second from the last), he enjoyed walking up to each kid and touching his maraca to theirs. He also enjoyed clean-up and liked to put all the instruments away for the teacher.

In all, it wasn't the worst experience ever, but it definitely wasn't fun yet. Oliver spent a lot of the time whining and saying, "No," and telling the teacher to turn the music "off!" I can't help but feel discouraged when he buries himself into my lap as all the other kids drum on their drums. Still, I remind myself that this is why Oliver's in music class. He's there to get comfortable around kids and get more socialization. It's tough at first, but I hope it pays off.

Oliver's 2nd Music Class

Oliver accompanied me to parent-tot music class this morning. He napped for about twenty minutes in the car before class, but then I had to wake him so we wouldn't be late. That made for a rough start. He just wanted to lay in my arms like a baby. We walked into the classroom, and he was overwhelmed with the sight of two other kids in the room and started crying. The teacher commented, "He cries like a little baby!" Thank you.

It took Oliver about twenty minutes to get over his clinginess to me. Again, the other kids ran around and played, and the smaller kids crawled around the room. Oliver really didn't leave my side until close to the end of class.

He liked the parts where I held him and danced; he hated the parts where the teacher talked. He finally started having a good time when he got to put away instruments and props. I gave him our scarves and asked him to put them in the teacher's bag. He left my side, walked across the room, and put the scarves in the bag. I told him what a good boy he is. The teacher set that bag down by the table and picked up another one full of maracas. She handed them out, and Oliver thought they were OK. When maraca time was over, I asked him to go put his back in the bag. Instead of walking up to the teacher, he went to the table where the bag of scarves were. It was pretty cute. There were only a few minutes left in the class, but Oliver felt brave enough to roam the room after that (always looking back for me to make sure I was still there).

The end of class made me feel more confident that he will eventually enjoy the class. Next week, there is no class, so his adjustment will probably start all over again in April, but I don't think it'll be too much longer before he starts to like music class.

Oliver's First Music Class

Oliver and I had our first parent-tot music class today, courtesy of my mother-in-law. I've been so excited for this class because Oliver loves songs and singing. He wants us to put on music videos for him all the time, and if we sing one song to him, we have to sing ten. He start his day with a song and end it with a song. So, yes, it seemed like a great idea.

The class starts at 9:45am, which is a difficult time because Oliver usually takes a short nap around 9am or 9:30am. We arrived at the class, and he was upset to see all the other kids. He clung to me and buried his head in my lap. The rest of the toddlers ran around, exploring the room, staring at other kids, and playing with the blinds. I was a little jealous of the other moms and kids. It was clear that the other moms all got little breaks while their kids played. With Oliver, we still don't get that. I figure that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, though. Maybe they were jealous that my son is a big snuggler.

The class was designed for ADD toddlers, I swear. Each activity lasted about two minutes. Oliver would just start to get interested in something and grab for the drum, maraca, or whatever was the toy of the minute, and then we'd have to put it away and start the next activity. One song/game involved the teacher playing music faster and faster, but every time she stopped, we'd have to stop moving/walking/dancing. Oliver didn't want to be put down the entire time, so I held him and would walk and bounce to the music. When it'd stop, I'd do an exaggerated freeze. Oliver started cracking up, and then that activity was over, too.

At one point, a boy who just turned one got upset about having to give up his maraca. He let out a scream. That did it for Oliver. He dissolved into a sobbing mess, and laid in my arms like an infant. The teacher thought he was sobbing because he had to give up his maracas. Nope.

To be fair, there was one other girl there who was pretty reserved. She'd turned two in December, and the class is supposed to be up to the age of two. However, because the next age bracket is much louder and rowdier, the instructor let her stay in the tot class for one more season. She was very quiet and didn't talk once. She was interested in the instruments, but she didn't play them. She was the only other kid besides Oliver who wouldn't shake a maraca.

The 45 minutes went by slowly. I felt awful for Oliver because it was clear he was miserable in the class, but I also felt confident that the class would end up being good for him. It's every week for a few months, and I think he'll slowly get used to having the other kids around. It'll help him come out of his shell a bit (I hope). Also, I know that, once he gets the routine of the class down, he'll enjoy it much more. Oliver is one of those children that really thrives on routine. The class was too new for him today, and maybe it will be next week, but I think it'll be a lot better after that.

I have a new plan for next week. I'll leave the house around 8:45am, get a Starbucks, and drive around the neighborhood so Oliver can doze before we head over to the rec center. I'll get some relaxation time, and he won't be so crabby in class!