Sweet Dreams, Oliver

Oliver fell asleep in his cave of lights yesterday.

No Sleep for the Shattucks

Our sleep deprivation continues.

It's gotten pretty bad in our household at night. During the day, things are great! At night, we go into survival mode.

Our sleep training with Jo helped a bit. A few weeks ago, she started to sleep a few hours at a time. That basically stopped after a few days, but we just stopped going to her. Well, not entirely. Andrew and I will go down to her every half hour or so and just tell her it's still bed time. The routine at our house became as follows: Down she'd go at 8pm, and then she'd wake up fussing around 10pm. She'd finally fall asleep and wake up at midnight. I'd change her diaper, nurse her, and put her back down. She'd cry for two hours (literally), with Andrew and me alternating going to her and patting/shushing her every 20-30 minutes. Around 2am, she'd finally crash out. She'd go down for a couple hours, wake for a while (more crying), and then go down for another short period. Every. Single. Night.

Andrew started to walk and talk in his sleep. That is, he'd talk nonsense to me. I could tell him to go do something simple, and he'd get up and do it and then just stand there until I told him to return to bed because he was asleep. I could literally tell him to stand up, and he'd stand up. Later, he'd have no memory of those events. It was creepy.

I started to have middle of the night break downs. Andrew would talk to me, and I had no idea what he's saying. I could hear his words, and I understood he's talking to me, but I couldn't understand what he meant. At one point, it got so bad, that I started to scream. I literally had no idea why, but it was in response to Andrew trying to talk to me and not being able to understand the words coming out of his mouth.

We were (are?) literally going crazy from no sleep. It's been about three months of almost no sleep. Over the last four days, Andrew's had a grand total of about three hours.

It's so brutal.

Here's the thing. Over the last couple weeks, I started to take Jo to bed when Oliver woke up for the day around 6am. I'd let her nurse, and she'd fall asleep on her stomach. I'd lay there, semi-conscious, while making sure she was breathing. That started to be her only real stretch of sleep during the day, and she'd sleep for a few hours straight without making a peep.

Andrew and I had a heart to heart the other day. We basically agreed that we cannot continue with the sleep deprivation. We're literally breaking down mentally. We didn't have a plan, but we just knew it had to stop.

Last night, around 1:30am, Andrew decided to get up and carry Jo so the crying would stop so I could get a couple hours of sleep. I heard him pick her up, I heard her cries stop. As I started to drift off, I heard Andrew snoring loudly downstairs. I had this tired thought, "Why didn't Jo cry when Andrew put her back in her Pack 'N Play?" I jumped out of bed as it clicked in my head--he must not have put her down. I found him sitting propped up on the couch, asleep, with Jo pinned between his arm and the couch cushion. I grabbed her, and she started sobbing. I told Andrew that I'd had enough. At that moment, I made the decision to put Jo to bed on her stomach.

Putting babies to bed on their stomachs is a risk factor for SIDS. When the "Back to Sleep" program started, SIDS deaths decreased by half. I've read a few reasons for that. It could be that babies' bodies aren't always strong enough to breathe with the weight of their bodies on their lungs. It could be that carbon dioxide pools in front of their faces. It could be that they sleep too soundly on their stomachs. Whatever the reason, it's a risk factor. Here's the thing. Babies who normally sleep on their backs are at an especially increased risk for SIDS when they are put to sleep on their stomachs. That's why they tell parents it's so important to communicate to grandparents to always put their babies to sleep on their backs.

It's a risk factor, but we were at the point where we were out of options. Our sleep deprivation literally couldn't continue. We were becoming a risk to her anyway because of our lack of sleep. That was apparent from Andrew falling asleep while holding her.

I put Jo down on her stomach, and she fell asleep immediately. There was no crying or fussing. Just sleep. I made sure her head was turned completely to the side. I made sure the mat she was sleeping on wasn't bunched at all or depressed by the weight of her head. Andrew pulled out the box fan and turned it on to keep air circulating. Then, he had me go upstairs and get some sleep, and he agreed to check on her every so often to make sure she kept on breathing. Jo slept from about 2am to 7am without any wake ups or fussing. It was a miracle.

Unfortunately, we still didn't get sleep. Oliver, for whatever reason, started to wake up at 4:30am every half hour. His wakings helped make sure we were awake for the rest of the morning to keep checking on Jo, but I was heartbroken that my chance to finally sleep was dissolved because of a bad night from our toddler.

Tonight, at bed time, we put Jo back to sleep on her stomach. She fell asleep at 7:30pm. It's 10pm now, and I've been going and checking on her every half hour while Andrew sleeps. She seems to be doing just fine, and she hasn't made a sound. It's a miracle.

Oliver was about six or seven months old when we started to let him sleep on his stomach. Once he was old enough to roll over, we let him choose his sleep position. Joanna's nearly five months old, so she's definitely younger than Oliver was. It scares me so much, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that there's a part of me that's hysterical and giddy over the idea of getting a night's sleep. I don't feel comfortable going to sleep yet. I'm not sure what my plan is to sleep while she sleeps on her stomach. I might wait until she wakes up for her feeding, and then wake Andrew up to trade me. I don't know what else to do, but I'm so glad that he's finally getting sleep.

I'm sorry if this post doesn't make much sense. I'm definitely not at a point where I can organize my thoughts, so this is just being written as I think it. I'm scared that I'm taking a risk with my baby. At the same time, I truly don't know what other options we have at this point.

Edit: I decided to search through my posts on Oliver. I swear, I'm so glad that I've made this blog to record my parenting choices and experiences. It's been a great reference to me. Apparently, Oliver was about Jo's age when we started letting him sleep on his stomach. He wasn't quite 5 months old. Of course, we let him sleep on his stomach because he flipped over himself. With Jo, it seems different to put her on her stomach myself. Still, I feel better knowing that this is when Oliver started to sleep on his stomach. I think I'll continue with a couple more nights of little sleep to keep making sure she's OK, and then I'll let myself catch up on my large sleep debt.

Family Sleep Deprivation

Oh, my! This past month has been brutal. Until today! It's 3am, and I can't remember the last time I felt so good. I'm giddy!

You see, Joanna is quite different from the way our little Ollie Bear was. Oliver was, well, a nightmare as a baby. I love the little guy, but all he did was scream all the time until he was about four months old or so. Getting him to nap during the day was a struggle. Between the hours of 7am and 7pm, we were just miserable. The only peace we got was at night. He woke up a couple times at night, but he'd always go straight to sleep after he ate. He'd eat, I'd burp him, I'd put him down in his crib, and things were good.

Jo's had the opposite problem--for this past month, anyway. Her first couple of months, she was a pro sleeper. She'd give us 8 hour stretches. She'd sleep 13 hour nights, getting up once. It was amazing. She's a happy baby, too. She rarely cries and throws fits. If she's upset, it's because there's something wrong, like a wet diaper. We can't believe how easy she is as a little one, at least as it compares to those first few months with Oliver.

Recently, though, she's struggled to sleep at night. I'm not talking about a few rough nights. Basically every night for a month, she's been waking up every hour or so. It has been killer. During the day, she's this adorable, cooing, smiling baby. At night, it's--well, it's not good.

It all started when she started breaking out of her swaddle at night. She'd wake up, bust out of it, and cry. I'd get up, reswaddle her, and put her back down. Over the period of a week or two, I started utilizing bad habits just to make things easier. I'd nurse her to sleep and transfer her to her bassinet (and, later, the Pack 'N Play) asleep. She stopped learning how to put herself to sleep at night, and she continued to break out of her swaddle, crying.

We decided it was time for sleep training. You don't typically use sleep training (like our favorite Ferber Method) until six months old, but we didn't know what else to do. We didn't want to use it to get her to sleep through the night or anything like that (4 month olds aren't ready for that yet). We just wanted to use it to teach her to sleep unswaddled.

It didn't work.

When you use the Ferber Method, you let your baby cry, but you go to your baby every few minutes (there's a set schedule) and soothe your baby with your words and touch. If your baby doesn't go to sleep after an hour has passed, you stop using the method and wait a couple more weeks to try again. When we used this method on Oliver to teach him to sleep unswaddled, it worked in less than half an hour. With Jo, she fought it for the entire hour. Brutal.

We let her continue sleeping swaddled, us waking up every hour or two to reswaddle her. I decided to try a technique that hadn't worked on Oliver--putting Jo to sleep with one arm out of the swaddle. It was very hard to get her to sleep (hours!), but once she did, she slept for a three hour stretch. That felt like a miracle. The next day, she slept for nearly a five hour stretch. I thought the problem was fixed!

It wasn't. Jo started to wake up again every hour or two, all night, every night. What was wrong? We didn't know. It led to a lot of tears of frustration and desperation. We just wanted to be able to get a stretch of sleep--even three hours, just to complete a single sleep cycle. Nope.

I tried putting her to sleep with both arms out of the swaddle. That didn't work. One night, about a week or so ago, Andrew swaddled her up out of desperation. She didn't break out and slept for about six hours. Oh. My. God. I felt like a new woman. Screw it, I thought. We'll just let her sleep swaddled until she's a teenager.

The next night, she woke up hourly again. Cry.

We decided to try the swaddle thing one more night. If she was going to wake up hourly, then there was no point in swaddling both arms in.

Well, that night, I was laying in bed, and I heard some quiet cries. When Jo just fusses, we let her fuss, on the chance she decides to put herself back to sleep. We wait to see if those fusses turn to cries or not. I had to use the restroom, so I got up and did that. On my way back, I decided to peak at her.

She was face down.

It was the single, scariest moment of my life. She wasn't just sleeping on her stomach. Her face was down, into the mat of the Pack 'N Play. I tipped her shoulder, and she immediately started screaming. I've never been so happy to hear her scream, and I started crying with relief. I was shaking and told Andrew what happened. No matter what, she needed to have at least one arm free. First, that would make it harder to roll over from back to front. Second, if she did flip, at least she'd have use of her arms to be able to push her head up and to the side for air.

We used the next few nights to teach her to sleep with both arms out of the swaddle. There was very little sleep happening. I started to get short with Andrew during the day, and he started to stay up with her downstairs for a few hours to give me a short stretch of sleep until he couldn't stay awake anymore.

He started to worry how the lack of sleep was affecting his job. He worried he'd fall asleep behind the wheel.

Saturday night, we decided to try sleep training again. We shipped Oliver over to Grandma Colleen's house for the night. I moved the Pack 'N Play to the living room to give Joanna her "own" room. At 7pm, I nursed her and plopped her into bed, both arms out of the swaddle. She cried. We soothed her every few minutes (3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 7 minutes). She fell asleep. An hour passed, and she woke up. We didn't pick her up. We soothed her every few minutes again. An hour passed, and we did the same thing. Another hour passed, and we did it again. Twice, I changed her and nursed her, but for the rest of her wake-ups, we didn't pick her up. Finally, at 4am, she fell asleep for a stretch and slept until 7:30am.

The next day, yesterday, we made the decision not to let her nap in her Rock 'N Play bassinet. She sleeps in there too well, and we didn't want her to get her days and nights switched. So, for her naps, it was back in the Pack 'N Play. None of her naps were more than an hour. We knew she had to be really tired, but she wasn't caving. She wasn't going to put herself back to sleep.

...until last night.

Thank you, Joanna. You've done it! You've learned how to put yourself to sleep again.

Jo was very tired at 7pm. I swaddled up her legs but kept her arms out. I nursed her and put her in her Pack 'N Play. She started to cry. We used our method, and she fell asleep in about 15 minutes.

It's 3:30am now. My breasts are full of milk and ache a bit, but I feel incredible. I slept from 8pm to 2am. Six hours of sleep. Straight.

I couldn't go back to sleep at 2am. I worried about Jo. Was she on her stomach again? I had to go check. Nope! She's sleeping flat on her back, arms down at her sides, just snoozing away.

Every night won't be like this, I know. She's probably making up for all of the sleep she lost over the past couple days. Here's the thing: I don't mind getting up to feed her and change her when she needs it. One, two, even three times a night, I'm all about it. Here's a fresh diaper, here's some warm milk, here's your crib. But I physically cannot handle getting up and walking or rocking her back to sleep every time one of her sleep cycles ends. Actually, that's not fair. To be honest, Andrew (he's such a saint, I swear) does most of the nightly work. He needs to sleep, but I really need my sleep. I think it's genetic. At 60, my dad still sleeps 8-10 hour nights and naps on his days off. When I was 18-20, I still needed to sleep 14-16 hour nights. When pregnant with Oliver, I needed to sleep all the time--all day, every day. I only wanted to wake up for a few hours a couple times a day. I couldn't handle staying awake through an 8 hour work day, and I remember trying to get my shift shortened to get more sleep (that didn't work). At 29, I typically don't function well on less than 9 hours of sleep. Before Jo was born, I'd need to get a 12 hour stretch of sleep a couple times a week. That entailed going to bed right when Oliver did at 7pm and sleeping through until 7am the next day. This nonsense of waking up every hour or two just hasn't sat well with me.

I know, being a parent of a baby comes with sleep deprivation. I get that. If Jo wasn't sleeping tonight, I'd be pushing through it. Somehow, we've made it work and have gotten through night after night of no sleep. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I'm so, so, so, so happy that the sleep training has worked. At least for tonight.

Thank you, Joanna. We're coming up on 4am, and you're still snoozing. There's going to be an end to our sleep deprivation. I've never been so happy in my life.

Feeling Well

I tried to sleep sitting up last night, hoping it would help me avoid any further bleeding. I slept that way until 1am before throwing in the towel. I shoved a pillow behind my back and tried to sleep sideways (but leaning backwards) with another pillow between my knees. I definitely felt more comfortable with less pressure and fewer aches. In the morning, though, I still had a few drops of blood. I'd guess that it was about the same amount as yesterday morning. This might be the normal for this pregnancy. I guess that as long as the baby is thriving, then that'll be OK. Many women spot throughout their pregnancy--I guess a few drops in the morning isn't all that different.

In Other News: A New Sleep and Milk Record

In other news, Oliver set a new record last night. He went to bed at 7:15pm. He awoke at 3am, and Andrew went in to calm him. It didn't work, so we let Oliver cry himself to sleep (it took about 5 minutes). Then, Oliver slept until 5:45am, when he got up for the day. Ten-and-a-half hours is his record between nursings, and I'm very excited to think that, had he not woken at 3am, he would have slept that whole stretch!

Additionally, Oliver went nearly eight hours during the day between nursings yesterday. That's a day time record! He went from 7:45am to 3:15pm.

By reducing his nursings to 3-4 times a day, my cycle has officially resumed. There are changes going on in Oliver's body, too. Namely, his poop has started to really stink. That might sound strange, but babies who nurse have pretty sweet-smelling poop (As an infant, when Oliver ate nothing but milk, Andrew said his poop smelled like graham crackers. Later, after we introduced solids but still nursed him regularly, his poop smelled sort of like fermented fruit--not good, but not offensive). Babies who are on formula have very foul-smelling poop. Anyway, now that Oliver is nursing so infrequently, his poop has started to smell foul, too. Yuck.

Sleeping Through the Night?

Yes, I understand that five hours is technically considered "sleeping through the night." I think the reason for that is because, at five hours, a baby must have soothed himself/herself to sleep during that time. Oliver has been sleeping through the night since he was a few months old, if you look at it from that standpoint. Back then, we did. Now, however, we're ready for him to sleep from the time we lay him in the crib until the time he's awake for the day.

It's been less than a week since we started pushing his middle-of-the-night feeding back, and he's now going about 9 to 10 hours between bed time and his nursing. Previously, he was going from about 7.5 hours to 9 hours.

Speaking of nursings, his weaning has been going well. Oliver is currently nursing 3-4 times a day! Yesterday, for example, he nursed at 4am (which seems early, but it was the end of Daylight Savings Time), 7:30am (because we had some driving to do, and I wasn't sure how long we'd be gone for), 1pm, and 7pm. Then, he did a big stretch from 7pm to 4:45am. Go, Ollie, go!

CIO and Sleeping Through the Night

Andrew and I decided that Oliver is ready to forgo his 3-4am feeding. That feeding hasn't been too much of a bother, and sleep training is. However, I've come to realize that Oliver will be in a big boy bed in a few months, and if he can't sleep through the night then, then he'll be crawling into bed with us. I don't want that, and, so, it's time.

After going to bed at 7:30pm, Oliver woke at 3:15am. That's a little on the early side, which was good because I knew he couldn't be too hungry. Andrew got up and walked him and then put him back in the crib. Oliver went ballistic. I waited five minutes, and then I went into his nursery, laid him back down, put my hand on his belly, and sang him the ABC song. Oliver was relatively calm, but once I whispered, "Good night, sleep tight," he stood up screaming. Andrew and I alternated going into Oliver's room to calm him every 10-12 minutes after that. At 4:15am, I wanted to give in, even though I knew it would undo the last hour's worth of work. Andrew said that we should give him until 4:30am, and I agreed. Oliver fell asleep at about 4:25am. He slept until 6:15am! He did it! That's the longest he's ever gone without nursing, and the oldest he's ever been for sleep training. I'm so proud, and I'm starting to get really excited over the idea of uninterrupted sleep.

My only regret is that Oliver goes in for his vaccinations today, and I'm worried we should have waited a couple more nights.

Oliver Sets Sleep Record

Oliver didn't nap much yesterday because we were so busy! He got up at 6:30am, and we got home from our races at the Children's Museum at about 10:30. He napped from about 10:30am to 11:30am. He dozed a little bit during our afternoon at the cornmaze (I'll update my blog about our adventures there soon!), but really didn't get much of a nap in. He fought his nap for the rest of the afternoon. He finally slept at 6:30pm and didn't wake up again until 5am! Oliver's new sleep record: 10.5 hours. Go, Ollie!

What to Do, What to Do

My Oliver is ten months old, and I have been blogging about his sleep patterns for... well, ten months now. Hehe. Anyone who knows me knows I love my sleep. Frankly, the only thing I don't like about motherhood is the lack of sleep. I like getting a full ten hours of sleep, and all you mommies out there know that's not happening.

Oliver has been stuck in a sleep rut for a few months now (with the occasional really good night or really bad night). He goes to bed around 7pm-ish, wakes up once around 4am-ish, and then goes back to bed until 6am-ish. I know he doesn't need that 4am feeding, but I don't know how to cut it out!

The thing is, when he gets up at 4am, he's more than happy to be up for the day if I don't go feed him right away. Letting him cry back to sleep works if he wakes earlier in the night, but at 4am, we have to be willing to get up and greet the morning if we want to let him cry back to sleep. I would much rather get up for 15 minutes to feed him and get a couple more hours of rest than try to let him cry for an hour in hopes he might lay back down and go to sleep.

So how do I cut out this feeding? Maybe I'll just walk him instead of nurse him. Perhaps cutting out the nursing will teach him he doesn't need me at 4am. Do you think that will teach him to put himself back to sleep when he wakes at 4am? Or do you think I'll just set the stage to get up and walk every night instead of get up to nurse? Well, at least if walking is all I do, I can alternate with Andrew. Typically, I go to bed at 9pm, a couple of hours after our baby. I sleep until his 4am feeding, and then I sometimes get up for the day to enjoy a few hours to myself, while other mornings, I go back to bed for those extra Zs. Unfortunately, that irregular pattern has made it so I have a hard time falling back asleep even if I want to. It taks an hour to fall asleep, and then Oliver wakes an hour later. I know, I'm pathetic, but 7 hours of sleep is not enough for this mama. I have such a sleep debt!

Sleep!

Oliver went to bed last night at about 6:45pm. Andrew said he woke up around 11pm for just a few minutes but put himself back to sleep (I was so tired, I slept through that!). Then, at 3am, Oliver woke. He started babbling instead of nursing, and then he tried to play patty-cake. It was no use. Oliver was up for the day.

I tried to get up with him, but I was so tired, I was dizzy. After twenty minutes, I had to wake Andrew for help. He wasn't much better. In fact, he fell asleep twice at the kitchen table. I was so tired, too, that I started to shake. That's when Andrew told me to go to bed. He took Oliver up to his room and rested on the floor while Oliver crawled all around him. Finally, at about 4:30am, Oliver rested his head on Andrew's stomach and fell asleep. Andrew carried him to the crib, where he slept until 7am.

I'm so grateful for the extra couple hours of sleep, but, I'll tell ya, I'm really desperate for more shut eye. I think I'd better hit the sack when Oliver does tonight. Hopefully, he'll sleep straight through to 3am so I can get an eight hour stretch of sleep. Then (fingers crossed!), I hope he'll go back to sleep for another couple hours.

Oliver's Sporatic Sleeping Patterns

On Thursday night, Oliver slept from 7pm to 3:30am in one stretch, and then he got up for the day at 6:30am.

Friday night, he went to bed at 7pm, but he woke up at 11pm. He cried for about half an hour before he went back to sleep. Then, he got up at 1am. I nursed him, and he went back to bed until 4:30am, when he got up for the day.

Saturday night, he went to bed at 7pm and didn't stir until 3:30am. I nursed him right away, and he slept until 6:15.

Last night, he couldn't stay awake, and we finally put him to bed at 6:15pm. He woke at 9:30pm and went back to bed after I nursed him. He was up again at 2:30am and then 3am; he got up for the day at 4:15am.

It seems Oliver either has a very good night and sleeps more than 8 hours at a time, or he has a terrible night and wakes constantly and gets up early. The nights he sleeps for a very long stretch are becoming more and more common. I'm very grateful for that. However, it seems like the difficult nights are becoming more common, too. Is that possible?

What's Wrong, Ollie Bear?

Last night, Oliver didn't sleep well. He was up at 10:30pm, 1am, 1:30am, 2am, 5am, and then up for the day at 6:15am. We tried everything from extra nursings, diaper changes, turning off the fan, opening the window, putting on warmer jammies, and finally even gave him a touch of Tylenol at 2am.

Nights like those remind me how much easier it is now compared to when he was just home from the hospital. But please, Oliver, only remind me of this once every few months, OK?

The Snoozer

For three nights in a row, Oliver slept from roughly 7pm to 4:30am straight. I couldn't believe it! What brought on the change? Your guess is as good as mine. OK, so maybe I have some idea. It seemed to start when we began putting Oliver to bed still awake. Errrr... let me say, for night time, we used to put him to bed slightly awake all the time, and then we did it occasionally. For the last week or so, we've been putting him to bed when he's sleepy, but completely awake.

Back to last night. He woke at 3am. Three o'clock is still OK in my book, but it left Andrew & me baffled. What should we do? Should we let him cry for a while and see if he goes back to sleep until 4:30am? Should I go back to nursing him? Should we try to soothe him in other ways and pick him up, or would that mess up any method of teaching him to put himself to sleep?

I think we did everything wrong! First, we let him cry for about 5 minutes. He wasn't crying hysterically or anything, just fussing. Andrew went in and tried to calm him. It didn't work. After ten minutes, I decided I'd nurse him. I mean, waiting 9 hours between feedings is probably a lot for a little guy. So I nursed him and put him back into bed. He didn't go to sleep. In fact, his crying worsened and got borderline hysterical. I changed his diaper and nursed him again, but he was still freaking out. Was he in pain from teething so much? Was he hot? Was he cold? He seemed fine.

Finally, at 4am, we decided that maybe he just wasn't tired. It was Andrew's turn to deal with a ridiculously early morning, so he got up and grabbed Ollie Bear. No sooner was he down the stairs than Oliver was asleep in his arms. Andrew went back upstairs, he laid Oliver down, and Oliver slept for 45 minutes. He woke up fussing, and we assumed he was up for the day. After 30 minutes of play time with Daddy, though, he fell back asleep and slept until 6:30am.

We're still not sure what the problem was. Heck, maybe it was nothing. After all, Oliver's a baby! But I can't help but worry that he was in pain or something. His skin was a lot worse today. I'm convinced that it is eczema because he's getting scaly patches on his sides and elbows. Also, he's cried in the tub the last three days. He started baby yogurt about a week ago, and I'm going to cut it out of his diet to see if that will help his skin.

Growing Up

It seems like a lot has changed with Oliver in a short amount of time recently. I can't believe the changes from a few weeks ago. First, he started napping for longer periods of time about a week ago (he usually gets in one 2 hour nap a day and one hour long nap a day). Second, we put him to bed awake at night (sleepy, but definitely very awake), and he goes to sleep on his own. As noted in my previous blog, he even slept through the night last night without getting up to eat (although he woke up an hour earlier than what is normal for him).

Also, Oliver has started to sit up really well this week. Just yesterday, he sat on his own for at least five minutes before falling over. Then, I had his butt against my leg, and he played sitting up that way for about half an hour before I picked him up to take him for a walk with my mom.

It's so amazing! He's turning into such a capable baby. I think these are some of the first sign of what lays ahead for him and us, and I'm so excited! To think, in another month or so, he's going to be crawling and pulling himself up into a sit! I wonder if I'll be updating those milestones for his 8 month old update?

Crazy!

Sweet Dreams

Oliver set a new world record! Well, maybe just a Shattuck household record. He went to bed at 7pm last night, as usual. At 11pm, he woke and fussed about a minute or two and went right back to sleep. Then...

....he slept until 4:45am! Straight! I nursed him at 4:45am, and he was wide awake. I laid him down in his crib and whispered, "Good night," and left the room. He remained awake, but he laid in his crib for another half hour before complaining for me to come get him.

Hurray for his first (kind of) night of sleeping all the way through with no middle of the night feedings!

Sleep Success!

Because Oliver has teeth now, we're not too keen on the middle of the night feedings. We don't want to rot away his chompers!

Normally, Oliver gets up once in the middle of the night (around 1 or 2am). Then, he usually gets up again around 4 or 5am and will only go back to sleep if he gets fed again. I'd say he skips that wake up about once a week. That one day a week, I feel much more rested.

We decided that Oliver is definitely old enough to only get fed once. But how to stop a habit? Last night, we were determined not to give in for that early feeding because everything I read said babies his age can go 9 - 12 hours without a night feeding. I decided he can certainly go 9 hours. I thought I'd soothe him in other ways.

At 6:30pm, I fed him, and at 7pm, Andrew put him down for the night (I didn't feed him right before putting him down because I didn't want to mess with any milk pooling around his teeth). He slept until 3am! At 8.5 hours between feedings, I decided it was good enough and nursed him. I put him back down into his crib, and he slept until 6:30am! OK, so maybe he fussed at 4:30am and 5:30am, but those fussings were all of 2 minutes before he went back to sleep on his own.

He's such a big boy!

This morning, he's doing a marathon nap of 2 hours. I like it when he naps only twice during the day for longer stretches because I feel like he's getting through his sleep cycle and getting more rest. Plus, maybe he's growing more!

Sleepy Bear and the Closed Door

Last night, Oliver didn't want to go back to bed after his 2:45am feeding. We gave him a few pats, and I sang him a lullaby. When that didn't work, we decided to close his door, and we went to sleep. I'm not sure what happened after that, but I woke up at 6:15am to him calling out to get up for the day. On one hand, I feel guilty about leaving him to fend for himself last night. On the other hand, it seemed to work so well.

And the Worst Mom of the Day Award Goes to...

At 8am this morning, Oliver got super cranky, which is his way of telling me he needs a nap. I tried to walk him to sleep, but that didn't work. I nursed him, and he fell right asleep. However, the moment I set him in his crib, he started screaming and crying. I gave him about five minutes, but I finally decided he was no longer tired. I pulled him out of his crib, changed his diaper, and took him downstairs to play.

When we were downstairs, I noticed something was stinking like poopy. I'd just taken all his old wipes down to the kitchen trash, so I decided that was the source of the stink, and I took the garbage out. Meanwhile, Oliver was still super cranky and complaining & crying. I walked him around, and he fell asleep. Once again, as soon I lowered him into the crib, he started crying. I pulled him out and sang to him, and he fell fast asleep. Or so I thought. He hadn't so much as touched the matress when he awoke, crying. I pat his back and whispered, "Shhh," and finally decided to let him cry to sleep.

Five minutes later, he was still crying, so I went back upstairs and pat his back and whispered to him. Ten minutes later, I did the same thing. It's very stressful and heart-breaking to hear him cry that long (Fifteen minutes doesn't sound that long, but try listening to a crying baby for that long, and you'll understand). I didn't want to give up because I read that if you pick a baby up when you're doing this method, it un-does all the work you did. After another ten minutes, I was about to go back upstairs, when he finally fell asleep. Whew!

After about half an hour, he woke up, and I ran upstairs and picked him up and smooched him and told him what a good boy he was... and then I noticed the poop stink again. Uh oh. I took him to the changing table, and he had poop all the way up his back to his shoulders, and it was crusted onto his butt cheeks. I can't believe it. I made my baby sleep in his feces! No wonder he was so upset. Poor baby.

And so it was that I earned The Worst Mom of the Day Award.

Sleeping Like a Baby

With more frequentcy, Oliver's been sleeping from bedtime (7:30pm) to 3:30am in a stretch. Last night, he woke at 11pm, which is too early for his nighttime feeding. I rubbed his back, whispered some soothing words, and left. He fell asleep after five minutes or so, and then he slept until 4am. I'm pretty sure 7:30pm - 4am is his longest stretch between feedings. After that wake-up, he went back to bed for another two hours (which is his norm).

I'm very happy when he only gets up once at night. I have a rule that he doesn't get fed before midnight after he goes to bed for the night. Basically, if he wakes up at 10pm or 11pm, or even 11:50pm, he gets a back pat or a back rub, and that's it. If he wakes up after midnight, he gets a diaper change and nursed. Many nights, he gets up at 1am and then again at 4am. It really helps me, though, when he skips that 1am feeding (which has happened 3 times in the last week or two).

I'm thinking about extending the midnight rule to be the 1am rule, just to give him a push to sleep longer and soothe himself to sleep. I think, at this age, it's not terrible to have him go 5.5 hours between nursings.

In other news, he's outgrowing the last of his sleep sacks. I'm entertaining the idea of letting him use a blanket, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not. A friend of mine told me she tucks the blanket under the matress so her baby can't pull it out.

I know mothers always used to put babies to bed on their stomachs and then drape a blanket on their backs. Once the back-to-sleep rule started, blankets were no longer used because babies could accidently cover their faces with them by throwing their hands up. Ollie rolls over and sleeps on his tummy now, so I'm thinking I could just lay him on his stomach and lay a light blanket over his back, with the bottom of the blanket tucked under the mattress. Is this an OK idea? I think I might post the question on Facebook to see what other mommies think.

Our Little Steam Roller

Oliver is officially sleeping on his belly every night. I lay him down on his back, and he flips over almost immediately. Most of the time, it's actually helping him sleep longer! Last night, for example, he slept from 8pm to 7am, getting up only once at 2am. Hurray!

Sometimes, though, he rolls and scoots too much. He'll get his face pressed up against the bars and start crying for us to come rescue him. He'll get better at it, though!

I get a little nervous with him sleeping on his belly because of SIDS. I read that a baby can choose his/her sleeping position once he's strong enough to roll over, but it still makes me nervous. I'm sure he'll be fine. I mean, he's a strong baby! But, still, I'll feel better when he's six months old and really out of the risky age for SIDS.