Sunday, May 17, 2009

Houses and Town Homes

Andrew and I have been on a mission with our house-hunting these last few months. We started looking before we were expecting and even put a bid in on a home. After re-crunching our numbers figuring in the cost of our upcoming baby, we made the tough decision to pull our bid on the house.

Now, we're looking for more affordable places to live in town homes and such. The problem is, all the nice ones always seem to have offers on them already!

Finding a home seems impossible, and now we have 60 days to move out of our apartment! Actually, the apartment people did say we can do month-to-month after our lease is up, but that'll cost an extra $100 a month. Bogus!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

So Much Emotion!

Well, those pregnancy hormones seem to be kicking in full force! I'm used to feeling happy and content and, well, frankly, used to even laughing at those who get all riled up over nothing. Now, it seems, I am those people!

I'll tell you what, I've been getting very angry these last few weeks. Either I get mad at nothing, or I get really mad over something quite small. And the anger seems to last, too. I've never really been an angry person. Well, maybe during my years of teenage angst ;-) But I have no idea where these emotions are coming from!

Also, I've started to feel very sad over small things, too. I can't shake off the feeling that everyone's unhappy with me. I know it's stupid, and I know people aren't unhappy with me. Still, that feeling lingers...

I read in my book that week 16 is supposed to be the peak of all this pregnancy emotion overload. I'm now at week 15, and I'm definitely feeling it. While normal, it doesn't make it any less disturbing to me. I'm also freaking out... what if this means I'll have post pardum depression? I wonder if that's a rational fear, if it could be linked to being overly emotional during pregnancy, or if it's something completely separate. I hope so.

Andrew's being uber supportive. He's so sweet to me, but even with him, I keep thinking I'm disappointing him or something. I just don't feel like I measure up. Blech, I need to work on shaking these feelings.

On the up side to my emotional swings, when I feel happy, I definitely feel very happy. I feel like all my emotions are amplified. Even the being tired part ;-).

I'll work on getting a bit more control over all these new extreme emotions. At the very least, I'll have to make sure to work on controlling my actions with them! The last thing I need is to have another angry outburst (This weekend, I completely embarrassed my brother by scolding a waitress who was being inexcusably rude to my dad. The worst part is now, even though he accepted my apology, I still feel overwhelmed with guilt and feel horrible. How sad is that? Logically, I know it wasn't that big of a deal, but emotionally, I can't shake it).

I feel like it's possible to get a grip on my emotions in normal circumstances. Now, I just need to master the art of controlling my pregnancy-amplified ones. I wonder if I'll be able to? Hopefully my future blogs won't be littered with desciptions of embarrassing emotional outbursts!