Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm Da Baby, Gotta Love Me!

A few minutes ago, I was holding my baby in my arms, walking through the hallway singing, "Hush, Little Baby," and putting Ollie to sleep. I love getting to do that. I love all those little moments of getting to be a mom.

As I laid him in his crib and thought about how lucky I am, I realized I don't often talk about those moments in my blog. I focus on recording everything that might be important in case I ever have another baby and need the information because there's so little information out there. I'm worried I'll forget everything I learned and have to start over, not knowing up from down.

It's very frustrating to be a new mom and not know what to do. It's even worse that all the books don't give any advice except to say, "Enjoy each stage" (even if the stage is your baby crying every hour at night, ha!) or that "every baby is different." That doesn't help someone who has never changed a diaper or warmed a bottle or had to pull a shirt over a baby's head. I decided I wouldn't write all the evasive non-advice for people. I wanted (want) to write something tangible that a person in my position could really use or consult.

But, I have to say, the more I get used to being a mom, the more I love it. In the beginning, I was so focused on keeping Oliver from crying, getting him to sleep, worrying how he was developing, etc., but now, I get to relax and play with him almost all the time. I love it. I love getting to smooch his tummy. He squeals with laughter when I pretend to eat his stomach! I hold him up in the air and lower him into my smooches, and he laughs even harder. I give him raspberries on his chubby cheeks and he coos and shrieks with glee. This morning, at the grocery store, I kept leaning over him in his car seat and shouting, "Boo!" and he just kept cracking up. He loves it when I sing, "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and he (sometimes) loves it when I hold him tight to me. I feel so incredibly lucky and unbelievably happy.

If other moms are like me, they're probably always thinking in the back of their heads, "When did I feed him last?" or "Why's he cranky? Is he tired?" or "I need to go to the store. When is he going to be well napped and fed?" or "How long did I read to him today? Have I read to him for 20 minutes?" or "Has he had any tummy time today?" The list goes on and on. Some of those things are important, but it's also very important to find time when it doesn't matter what does or doesn't get done, and just play with the baby. Oliver is definitely the happiest when I'm being goofy, and that's when I'm the happiest, too.

Learning to be a mom is so hard. Reaping the benefits, though, is the greatest thing, ever.

P.S. On an unrelated note, here are some photos for today (Happy Cinco de Mayo!)

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