My Snuggle Bear

I don't have many friends with kids, but of the ones who do, most have complained at some point or another that their babies aren't snugly any more. A few months ago, one of my friends noted that there's an upside to her boy getting sick--he loves to snuggle his mom! Another one of my friends mentioned that her favorite part about being a mom is when her boy gets tired because that's when he likes to snuggle. I think that's so sweet!

Me... well...

I don't exactly have those problems. Our Oliver loves to snuggle. He wants to be held and snuggled all the time. When he's grumpy, one of his favorite things is for me to carry him in my arms like he's a little baby and rock him and sing, "Rock-a-Bye, Baby." He loves to nuzzle his head into our necks and shoulders, he always wants to nurse, and if we're not carrying him, he can frequently be found clutching our legs. My favorite thing is that he already knows the word and the sign for "kiss." Rather, he doesn't say or sign "kiss," but he knows it so well that I can ask for a kiss with a word or a sign, and he'll plant one on me. It's very cute.

I try--and usually succeed--to appreciate how much we get to snuggle and cuddle him. Really, laying down next to him and singing songs and making him laugh while he climbs all over us is one of my favorite things. However, sometimes it's exhausting to always have someone at your side. During those few times of the day when he goes off to explore on his own, it feels so good to be able to take a few steps without a baby in my arms or wrapped around my knee. Sometimes, I even have to be a little stern with him. He'll whine and bounce up and down on my foot to pick him up, and I'll tell him, "In five minutes. Mommy's drinking her coffee." He doesn't understand that yet.

Honestly, we don't neglect him. Sometimes, I just want a little bit of physical space, so I'll sit down next to him to play. That occasionally works. About half the time, though, that's not good enough, and he'll throw a tantrum if I put off holding him for too long.

Really, he reminds me of Bailey in so many ways (for those of you who knew my late dog). He begs for my food. I can't eat anything without him doing everything he can to climb on me to get it. Sometimes, it's cute and funny. Other times--when I'm eating soup, for example--it's less funny.

I guess I'm trying to say that Oliver is much more clingy than many other babies his age, and it has its pros and cons. I love that he loves me. I love that he likes to be held and loved. I love affection! However, I long for the day when I can go to the bathroom in private or brush my teeth without a baby in my arms.

I'm Da Baby, Gotta Love Me!

A few minutes ago, I was holding my baby in my arms, walking through the hallway singing, "Hush, Little Baby," and putting Ollie to sleep. I love getting to do that. I love all those little moments of getting to be a mom.

As I laid him in his crib and thought about how lucky I am, I realized I don't often talk about those moments in my blog. I focus on recording everything that might be important in case I ever have another baby and need the information because there's so little information out there. I'm worried I'll forget everything I learned and have to start over, not knowing up from down.

It's very frustrating to be a new mom and not know what to do. It's even worse that all the books don't give any advice except to say, "Enjoy each stage" (even if the stage is your baby crying every hour at night, ha!) or that "every baby is different." That doesn't help someone who has never changed a diaper or warmed a bottle or had to pull a shirt over a baby's head. I decided I wouldn't write all the evasive non-advice for people. I wanted (want) to write something tangible that a person in my position could really use or consult.

But, I have to say, the more I get used to being a mom, the more I love it. In the beginning, I was so focused on keeping Oliver from crying, getting him to sleep, worrying how he was developing, etc., but now, I get to relax and play with him almost all the time. I love it. I love getting to smooch his tummy. He squeals with laughter when I pretend to eat his stomach! I hold him up in the air and lower him into my smooches, and he laughs even harder. I give him raspberries on his chubby cheeks and he coos and shrieks with glee. This morning, at the grocery store, I kept leaning over him in his car seat and shouting, "Boo!" and he just kept cracking up. He loves it when I sing, "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and he (sometimes) loves it when I hold him tight to me. I feel so incredibly lucky and unbelievably happy.

If other moms are like me, they're probably always thinking in the back of their heads, "When did I feed him last?" or "Why's he cranky? Is he tired?" or "I need to go to the store. When is he going to be well napped and fed?" or "How long did I read to him today? Have I read to him for 20 minutes?" or "Has he had any tummy time today?" The list goes on and on. Some of those things are important, but it's also very important to find time when it doesn't matter what does or doesn't get done, and just play with the baby. Oliver is definitely the happiest when I'm being goofy, and that's when I'm the happiest, too.

Learning to be a mom is so hard. Reaping the benefits, though, is the greatest thing, ever.

P.S. On an unrelated note, here are some photos for today (Happy Cinco de Mayo!)