Thursday, June 2, 2011

More Pregnancy Updates

I have yet to go a full day without any bleeding, but today and yesterday were fairly heavy again. I feel like it's my fault because I've had to do more since Andrew returned to work on Tuesday. I try not to pick up Oliver at all, but it's impossible. He had a doctor appointment yesterday, so I had to pick him up to get in and out of the car. I had to pick him up to bring him upstairs for his nap because he refused to go up himself. I also have to pick him up to get him into his high chair. My abdominal muscles felt sore on Tuesday from working for the first time in a week, and I knew that wasn't a good sign. It breaks my heart, but there is just no way to not lift him at all.

I saw my midwife today. My blood pressure is still good at 100/60. I got to hear the heart rate (140s). We went over my ultrasound some more. She told me my risk for a pre-term delivery is "slightly higher" than the 6% I'd been told. I just wanted to cry. I didn't ask her what she thought the chances were. At that moment, I felt emotionally defeated. I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow. I feel like I've gotten so far. I just wish I could know it's not all for nothing.

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