Saturday, July 23, 2011

Bah Humbug

Andrew's camping for the night with his buddies, and his parents are watching Oliver to give me a night off. I stayed busy during the day (built some hand railings with my parents' help) and am looking forward to seeing friends in the morning. Still, I can't help but miss those guys like crazy.

I usually go to bed between 8pm and 9pm, but sleep hasn't hit me yet. I know my favorite fellas had a great day and are sleeping soundly, but I miss them incredibly. It's hard to sleep without them here.

Honestly, Oliver and I don't spend much time apart. Andrew dropped him off at Grandma & Grandpa's at 9am, and that seems like a ridiculously long time ago. I feel like we've been apart for weeks, and I can't wait to see him so he knows that I'm still here, that being apart is a good thing, and that we always come back. I feel a little heartbroken over silly things, like not being able to kiss him goodnight.

Before he left for the day, I sat him down and told him that he was going to visit his grandparents. I reminded him that they have two dogs, and I reminded him of the swing they have in their backyard. I told him he'd get to play and have fun, and I'd see him tomorrow. He ran and got my shoes, so I think he was excited to go. Honestly, I love that he loves his grandparents and likes visiting them. It makes life much easier to know we have help. All of his grandparents adore him, and I'm confident he's in good hands. But... it's still not easy to leave him.

It's silly, I know. It's only one day. I'm just not used to it. I'm not used to going to the bathroom without a little guy following me in to have me flush the potty. I'm not used to having nothing to do and watching TV. I feel sad and worry about silly things, like how Grandma & Grandpa don't know that Oliver likes for people to count to three for him before he does something (flush a toilet, push a button, etc). He even starts the count quietly, "Un, Tuh..." Is he confused when they don't understand and don't join in the counting? What about when they don't understand that "oos" means "juice," which means he's thirsty?

I feel so overprotective. I don't mean to be. I just am used to having my little guy around all the time. It's good for me (and him) to have time apart, but it's not easy. The funny thing is, I know I'll be exhausted come tomorrow evening. I'll be thinking, "I wish I could have a break to just sit and do nothing for just a few minutes!" I should enjoy the free time I have now. It's hard.

Maybe I'll try to get to sleep. I'm not looking forward to the empty bed upstairs.

Bah, Humbug! So much for a day off. I miss my family.

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