Thursday, January 14, 2010

Oliver Refuses Sleep

OK, the nap thing yesterday might have backfired. Last night was Oliver's most difficult night since his first night home from the hospital (nothing could compare to that completely sleepless night!).

I took the advice from The No-Cry Sleep Solution and put Oliver to bed as soon as he was feeling tired. That happened at 7:30pm. He slept his longest stretch, ever, and slept until 3:30am. That's 8 hours!!!

The only problem is, after that 8 hours, he refused to go back to sleep. That actually was a big problem because I hadn't gone to sleep until 11pm the night before, and I'd woken up at 2am waiting for him to wake up for his usual nighttime feeding. Let me tell you, three hours of sleep is just not enough.

I tried to nurse him to settle him down. He ate, but he didn't settle. Then I tried to rock him and pat him (that's how he usually falls asleep), but he wasn't having it. I started to feel angry with him, but I knew that wasn't rational. Still, he wouldn't stop screaming, and it was hard to keep a sane perspective. Finally, when I thought I was going to break down (4:30am), I woke up Andrew and asked him to please take the baby.

Andrew tried to settle him down to no avail. I couldn't sleep knowing Oliver was so upset, so I decided to get back up. I took Oliver from Andrew and went back upstairs. That time, the rocking and patting worked, and Oliver drifted off into sleep. Success! I went back to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what a horrible mom I was for feeling so mad at the little baby. I love him so much, but I couldn't deal with one night of sleeplessness.

Then, about 30 minutes later (5:30am), he woke back up, crying. I ran to his room and picked him up, hoping to rock him back to sleep before he was completely awake. It didn't work. He wailed into my ears. I kept thinking to myself, "He's just a baby. He has a cold. He's on a new schedule. He's just a baby..."

I didn't last more than ten minutes. I heard myself say to him, "Oliver, stop crying and go to sleep." When I realized I was seriously trying to tell him what to do, I feared I'd gone legitimately crazy. Andrew has to work today, and I didn't want to wake him. However, I was worried about my mental state at that point and wasn't sure I should be holding the most important thing to me when I didn't know up from down. I woke Andrew back up and asked him if he would be willing to start his day extra early.

Andrew took Oliver downstairs, and everything was quiet. I laid in bed, unable to sleep. What were Ollie and Andrew doing? Were they sleeping? Did Andrew take him for a drive? Is Andrew feeling like he's going crazy? What if he thinks he can't come back to wake me up because he thinks I can't handle it? What if he can't handle it? What if Oliver is hungry, but Andrew doesn't think he can ask me to feed him? Why didn't I feed Oliver before I gave him to Andrew?

Six-thirty in the morning, and I dragged myself out of bed. I wasn't going to get any more sleep. I went downstairs, apparently crying (didn't realize I was until Andrew asked me what was wrong). Andrew was laying on the couch; Oliver was sleeping on his chest. I went to the kitchen and brewed a huge pot of coffee.

I don't want to give up on the book, and I don't want to give up on Oliver's napping. However, to keep my sanity, I think it's in my best interest to go to bed when Oliver does, even if it's at 7:30pm. That way, when he wakes up at 3 or 4am and refuses to sleep, I'll be well-rested. Honestly, I haven't gotten to sleep more than about 4 hours at a time since having Oliver. Sleeping from 7:30pm to 3:30am sounds like a dream...

So, after day 1 of The No-Cry Sleep Solution, Oliver has slept his longest stretch to date. However, his total number of night-time sleep hours has dropped. Which is better? I'm not sure.

I'm just glad I feel sane again and that we all made it through the difficult night.

Update: Oliver is in a great mood today! He even let me suction out his boogers. I apologized to him for instructing him to go to sleep last night. He smiled and said, "wwwaaaa," and I think that means, "I forgive you, Mommy." Right now, he's playing with his duck and talking to our ceiling fan.

No comments: